The Best Damn Thing- Crossdresser!Tomboy!Reader X Prussia
Hi there, I’m no good at things like this but I just had to get this out, and I’m even thinking of turning this into a series. This is my very first Hetalia Character Insert so it's bound to suck. Some characters may be fairly OOC because I’m just terrible at that so I hope this doesn’t suck that bad, but anyway enjoy this! I suck at accents by the way... The cross-dressing will be further explained once you start reading. And a fair warning is that given the colorful language of certain characters and reader-san’s own language watch out for some swears and also some suggestive things, innuendos and/or the classic and wonderful compromising misunderstandings. ENJOY! :3
You sighed, “Really?” is all you had to ask to yourself since no one else was around, your loving mom was at work at this time and your dad just wasn’t exactly around for you…
You stared at the letter of acceptation once again; you got accepted into one of the most well-known universities however it was also one of the most infamous, for its wacky gaggle of students.
Normally you liked the idea of schools being like this, since your school life by now hasn’t been much fun, but the idea of this kind of set you back once you realized, that oh you don’t know it was an ALL BOY’S SCHOOL!
As much as you loved your grandpa, why did he have to give you this letter? When you and your mom were stuck in a rut over which college to choose from after your graduation your grandpa had already written you a letter of recommendation to get into the university called the 'W Academy' since that was the same university that he had been at and graduated from too. He knew all about you and wrote what you thought were too generous compliments about you and your accomplishments; needless to say he was like your father and therefore he acted like one, a little too much sometimes.
You thanked him for getting you into a college, but apparently it being an ALL BOY’S SCHOOL slipped his mind, because he’s old…
You sighed again before plopping your butt on the couch in the usual lazy manner you always do, “Oh well I guess this should be easy to pull off, guys are stupid aren’t they?” You weren’t exactly frilly or girly, you were something more of a tomboy. You disliked the way the shirts sold at stores had clothes that were either too tight or revealing, you didn’t mind that fact but you minded the idea of it. Why would they make clothes for girls that make them all look like sluts?
That’s why you wore comfy clothes and shorts, despite your mother’s nagging and your grandpa’s insisting on wearing something more feminine. Your best friend Feliks on the other hand never ceased to tell you things you like, “ But you, like, HAVE to try these on, you’d look SO fetch.”
You chuckled at the thought of your best friend, he was almost too gay to function sometimes (LOL to any of you who have seen Mean Girls or like the movie), though in August which was only a month from here you had to become more and more like a dude… shouldn’t be hard.
~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
At the town mall:
Your Polish friend Feliks Łukasiewicz chuckled, “You, like, want to me to what?” He asked as he put his hand to his ear to pick up one what you asked him to do.
“I want you to turn me into a dude.” You stated bluntly.
He laughed again, “Not happening (Your name) , no way! You cannot lie about your gender, I mean it’s bad enough that you dress like…that!” He said as he pointed to your casual attire. Which was a simple hoodie with long pants and sneakers and not to mention your (length of hair) hair was hid within your hoodie, since you didn’t bother to pull it out.
“Ugh, you’re right. You know why’d I even come to you, it’s not like you know anything about being a dude.” You smirked once you saw the faint redness in his cheeks and a pouty look on his face, “Not cool (Your name)! I totally DO know how to be a dude! I act like one! I AM ONE!"
You fake coughed, “Baloney!” Truth be told whenever you and Feliks were seen together anyone who may have gotten the wrong idea would’ve assumed that you were boyfriend-girlfriend except you were the boyfriend and Feliks was the girlfriend. That’s what you loved about Feliks he was a little impulsive, sure but he was sweet once you got to know him and you were practically able to talk to him about anything. Finding out that he was somewhat clingy was the real challenge but you found out you didn’t really mind because anyone else around you was probably a real f***ing asshole.
You playfully punched Feliks in the shoulder, “I’m just messing with ya, but come on the only way I can do this is if you help me, besides ain’t ya happy that I got accepted into the same school as you?”
“Totally girl! But don’t you think you dress, like, a little TOO manly?”
“No. Besides it’s cool, it’s comfy, soft and not to mention I can play sports in these and on top of that I can jam in these clothes!” You said as you did an air guitar for emphasis, with Feliks next to you doing the same thing while other people walking around you stared at you two in amusement.
“That’s cool and all, and as much as I really don’t want to. And, like, REALLY don’t want to, I guess I can help you be a dude...” He said, scratching the back of his head, he was no different from your grandpa when it came to trying to get you to wear feminine clothes. Your grandpa actually disliked Feliks at first because he had the ‘Papa-Wolf’ instinct whenever it came to you and boys, and due to various misunderstandings he eventually became completely comfortable with Feliks because he thought he was gay much to your amusement and Feliks’ annoyance.
“Thank you Feliks! You’re the best friend I never expected I’d have.” You said with a bright smile on your face. “And you (Your name) are, like, the totally coolest bestie I’ve always wanted.” He said opening his arms out, showing you he wanted you to hug him and you happily complied.
Over the month of July while you still had vacation you and Feliks had spent more time with each other, well more than usual teaching you how to act more manly, which was something of an easy feat since he assumed that you were manly enough to begin with. He had managed to teach you how to walk like a dude, talk like a dude and helped you with make-up to help you look just a little bit more boyish.
Without your clothes your womanly features with your decent sized breasts, somewhat big hips and legs made your gender look obvious. Though Feliks wished that you would wear more clothes that showed off these ‘sexy’ features of yours.
“You are NOT cutting my hair.” You said as you held your (length of hair) back.
“Ohmygod, NO! I wouldn’t dream of that.” He said.
If anything you didn’t want to lose the amount of hair you had grown over the years. All that needed work was making your eyebrows look slightly thicker and put fake sideburns on the sides of your ears to give it that impression. By the time August came you felt positive about acting out a double-life as a dude, (Male Name Or Male Version Of Your Name), (Your Surname).
~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
“Okay sweetie, you got your wallet?” Your mom asked from the kitchen.
“Mom, I think I know better by now, I’m not a child.”
“I know it’s just…” Your mother said before tearing up a little bit, I just can’t believe you’re already in COLLEGE!” Then she pulled you into a semi-tight hug, she didn’t mind that you were going in disguise though she was a little annoyed that you’re grandpa had gotten you accepted into a school full of dudes without knowing, but since you were already accepted there’s no point in you not going into the university.
“Okay, now just do your best and be careful okay?” Your mom said with a worried expression. “Don’t worry mom, after all Mama didn’t raise no sucker right?”
“Now now (Your Name)” Your grandpa said and then put his hands on your shoulders, “If any boy comes within 2 feet of you, I want you to take this beautiful fist of yours, aim for throat and strike it as hard as you can and run while he chokes.” He said with a smile and then pulled you into a hug.
“Got it grandpa.” You smirked and chuckled; you probably wouldn’t do that but you would bust a guys balls if you had too, besides your grandpa told you to in case you had to.
“You have nothing to worry about gramps, (Your name) won’t have to worry about nothing as long as she has her bestie with her” Feliks came and wrapped an arm around you.
Your grandpa chuckled again at your friends easygoing personality, “You keep my (Your Name) away from your boyfriends, Feliks.” Your grandpa smiled and pointed at you two, but you both sweatdropped at his comment.
“Good luck (Your Name)… I love you…” Your mother said as she waved her hand to say bye to you.
“Love you too Mom, and I don’t need luck cuz I’m a superstar” You said as you and Feliks laughed while walking to your new university.
~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
Before you got in you made sure that you looked boyish enough, eyebrows done with makeup to look thicker, fake sideburns near both ears, your (length of hair) hair tied into a ponytail and hid under your hoodie which had your university name and logo on it. To hide your breasts you wore a sports bra and put on some wrapping to flatten them. You wore a waist-belt around your waist to hide your curves and wore long baggy pants to hide your lady-like legs. Perfect enough you looked like you would be if you were born a boy. You didn’t want to feel too arrogant right now but you thought that if you were a boy you’d date you.
“Okay girl are you, like, ready for this?” Feliks asked.
“Hell yeah!” You said with confidence as you both walked into the university, the doors opened wide. You spoke too soon…
The inside of it looked like complete, utter hell… the dudes especially some loud, rambunctious American dude laughed as he threw a football to his jock buddies, not caring about the others who walked forward, while yelling something along the lines of “I’m the hero!” A British dude yelling at said American, calling him names like “Wanker! Or Git!” With a French guy who laughed a weird “Ohonhonhon~” something like that…
Along with more students just tossing things around, like prank stuff and not to mention some were even beating each other up. You managed to walk slowly past these guys with Feliks behind you, clinging to you practically for dear life while you squeezed his hand tightly.
While you two somehow walked through this deathtrap, you saw an Austrian guy with glasses in his dorm room playing on his piano through all the chaos going on as if to him it wasn’t even happening, some tall Russian dude was seen picking on a small little crying Latvian boy while you could only stare at said boy with pity but given the size of that Russian and his somewhat psychotic looking facial expression, better him than you.
The same damned piano music played while you walked and then you also noticed an Italian and a German guy, though the Italian guy looked like he was running from the intimidating German since he looked like he was chasing him. You then noticed another Italian which looked like the last one, just grouchier looking throwing tomatoes at this Spanish guy. Then you saw a Chinese girl, no guy! In his dorm with another Japanese guy who was reading manga.
“(Your name)… this is, like, freaking me out..!” Feliks told you, “Yeah…no shit shirlock.” You said and then felt something hit the back of your head, Hard. A football.
“OW!” You cried in a not-girly way and rubbed the back of your head.
“Kesesesesesesese~!” Was the response you heard, you turned and saw another German guy, but he had short whitish hair and ruby-red eyes, an albino. Huh, that’s interesting, you thought but wait this asshole was the one who hit you and he was sniggering about it! You glared at his arrogant smirk and angrily flipped your middle finger at him, earning a mixed look of anger and amusement from the same guy.
“Oh, not very friendly are you?” He said as he began to walk towards you, which made you uncomfortable so you quickly turned and grabbed Feliks by the back of his shirt and darted forward, elsewhere to get away from that guy. No doubt you probably ALREADY made an enemy since you weren’t exactly good with containing anger when it was present, not to mention you were pretty blunt with your opinions and you didn’t exactly have the cleanest mouth in the world…
“Vhere are you going?” He asked grinning as he followed you, “Away from you, bitch!” You yelled back with an irritated expression on your face, you let Feliks go since this guy was pretty much after you and not him.
“Zhat’s a dirty mouth on you, ve’ll have to do somezing about zhat. You vant me to clean it for you?”
“Get away from me!” You yelled but then noticed that he was pretty much catching up to you, only inches away from you. Then he grabbed you by the hood of your jacket and made you fall backwards onto your butt.
“(Your name)! I-I mean, (Male Version of your name)!” Feliks yelled out for you in concern as he watched you fall, he made his way to you.
“GAH!” You groaned as you rolled onto the floor in pain, and then rubbed your sore behind, “That freaking hurt!” You noticed the French guy and the Spanish guy you saw from earlier making their way towards you, but in a surprisingly non-threatening way.
“Oh, Gilbert are you making a new friend?” The Spanish Guy asked in a cheery tone.
“Vell… I guess you could say zhat.” He said while looking at you with that same damned smirk on his face.
“Ohohon~ I’ve never seen ‘im before…” The French guy said, looking fairly flamboyant.
“You’re gonna wish you’ve never seen me…” You said with a glare as Feliks helped you up.
“As you can see he’s not friendly at all.” The jerk that made you fall known as Gilbert apparently, sniggered as you narrowed your eyes at him.
Still rubbing your bottom, “Are you alright?” Feliks asked you.
“Ouch…” was all you said.
You saw Gilbert snigger at you again, “Vhat is he, your boyfriend?”
“I bet he is, you look like the homo type of guy.”
You glared at him once again and then tried backing away but he only walked forward to you so you won’t try to get away. “Hey you getting up in my space, bitch.” You said as you continued to back away. The French guy chuckled at your defiance and choice of colorful language, “Hey f*** you too, you skeeze-looking jackass.”
“Well, aren’t you a very outspoken young man?” The French guy asked with a somewhat unimpressed look on his face after your insult.
“Whose bag is zhis?” The albino jerk asked while carrying your bag, the one you dropped after your painful downfall. You reached your hand to get it back, but he snatched it back so you wouldn’t get it as he snickered. “Zhis is very cheap, Vhere did you get it?”
“Your mama’s closet!” You yelled and pointed at him, he gave you a look of annoyance. “You know mein friends and I have a vay of breaking new brats like you in.” However to you his friends didn’t look like they’d hurt you.
“Yeah I’d like to see you try.”
“Really you vould, okay you asked for it.”
You crossed your arms. “You probably can’t even do shit to me.”
“Oh I don’t know about zhat, because the awesome me vill-“ You cut him off once you threw your foot at his crotch area, Hard. “GAH!!” He cried in pain.
“OOOH!” The Frenchie and Spaniard yelled, knowing that it must’ve hurt like hell because they could relate. You saw Feliks make the same pained expression as them; cuz he's still a dude despite everything.
“Motherf***er…” Gilbert muttered through his teeth before falling on the ground, his hands covering his injured area.
“(Male Name)… ,like you didn’t have to kick him where it hurts…” Feliks said, not for Gilbert’s sake but your sake because now you and this guy were probably definitely enemies now. “That's one of the many things you know 'bout me Feliks, if a guy fucks with me I’ll kick in him in his dick.”
“Mein vonderful five metres..!” Gilbert groaned painfully as his hands still covered his injured crotch. “Your dick is NOT five meters long!" You scoffed with your hands on your hips, a smug look on your face. He glared at you, “You vouldn’t know, because you’re not awesome like me!”
“HA! I’m the awesome one here!” You said and pointed at yourself; you had a sense of pride and felt that you were awesome in your own way though others thought you were slightly weird because of how outspoken you were. However just saying this made Gilbert stand up on his knees almost forgetting about the pain you inflicted on him, “You vouldn’t know awesome if it bit your dick off!”
“Whoa, whoa!” Feliks said and then grabbed your hand and started walking the other direction, “Look, you guys are boring us we’re, like, going to go now.” Last thing he wanted was for you and Gilbert to get into a fight of some sorts.
“I’m going to get you for zhis!” Yelled Gilbert as he pointed at you, you turned your head to him as you were being pulled, “FUCK YOU!” You yelled, though you thought you were being a little too bold it still felt good, even if you knew you were going to pay for this.
~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
Well after you ‘made some new friends’ in your classes Gilbert and his friends kept throwing paper-balls at you and in return you could only glare at them or flip them off. “Dammit if only I had a straw I could spitball them…” You thought as you walked to the gymnasium. “Oh shit…”
Since it was all guys that meant you’d have to walk into a locker room…full of nothing but dudes… some that were changing…and even showering…
You reluctantly walked in and found your locker, you looked around and saw a few of the guys changing, getting shirtless and all. You couldn’t help but smile and nod your head in approval over how hot and sexy some of these guys look but then your mind snapped back to reality and now you had to wait till all these guys left so you could change. “Wait what am I doing? I could just go to one of the bathroom stalls.” You thought and walked into the nearest bathroom, keeping your eyes closed until you walked into a stall and locked it.
“Okay… this is good…” You walked out wearing a (fave color) sweat jacket and pants.
Outside was a blazing hot day, though you wished you could’ve worn a shirt and shorts like the other guys, like hell you were going to already expose your gender. You ran for what seemed like the 5th lap around this longer than average sized football field, panting heavily. You were athletic enough but all the extra clothing on you made it almost unbearably hot for you, and you were sweating like a pig.
“Hey! You!” You heard a deep almost gruff voice calling you, you turned and saw the same German guy who was chasing the Italian dude in the hall. You panted out “Sup?”
“You don’t look vell, are you okay?” He asked with concern, you looked at him with a surprised expression but due to all the heat getting to you, you looked more disoriented, “Yup, I’m good…” You smiled foolishly while he only looked at you with what seemed like concern.
At your 7th lap you collapsed on your knees and panted and then you heard a familiar voice, “(Your name!), like, are you okay?” Feliks asked with immense concern in his voice.
“Need some water?” He asked as he gave you a water bottle which you took happily and then opened it and poured all the water on your head.
“Uh, I meant to drink.” You chuckled and continued to pant again. “Eww…you’re all sweaty and grody…” He winced as he took his hand away from your forehead once he touched how wet it was, “Welcome to the guy’s world…” You said.
Reluctantly you got up again to finish the last 3 laps, you were practically out of breath this time. You huffed and puffed, completely red in the face and sweat cascading down your face like a waterfall. You looked up and saw the German guy, “(Male Name) right?”
You nodded weakly, “Are you okay?”
“I feel fine.” You said before you threw up on the side, while the other guys winced back in disgust. “Come on (Male Name) let’s get you to the infirmary.”
“No, no…” You said and then stood upright, “I’m just so…alive…right now…I mean I’m a man ain’t I, gotta suck it up like one…” You said and fell down onto the ground.
“Wow, can you believe zhat guy said he was more awesome zhan me?” Gilbert asked and then sniggered, “Hahaha, very funny (Male Name) now stop playing around.”
No response, from your point of view everything was blurry despite the sunny day outside, you felt yourself getting sleepier and you felt horribly nauseated.
“Hey (Male Name)…” Gilbert called and then tapped your head with his foot, no response. “Zhis is not funny (Male Name), if you’re trying to trick zhe Awesome me you’re doing a terrible job at it.” He said while managing to keep a smirk, but you still weren’t responding.
“He’s having a heat stroke you dummkopf!” The other German guy that you picked up as Ludwig yelled as he scolded Gilbert. “Vhat?! Oh come on it’s not zhat hot out here! Zhis guy is clearly not awesome enough if he can’t handle a little sun.”
You groaned in pain, “(Male Name)!” You heard Feliks’ voice, “Like, don’t just stand there we have to get him to the infirmary!” He yelled and then the teacher made his way over, a large commotion started over this and everything went black…