The Best Damn Thing- Crossdresser! Reader X Prussia Chpt 12.5
Hello lovelies~ This is the true chapter you’ve all been waiting for! I’m sorry I had to cut it in 2 halves but like I said it wouldn't let me submit the whole thing but here it is!! Just a fair warning be wary of what goes in this chapter because apparently people do A LOT of stupid stuff when you’re drunk as a skunk; This is one LONG chapter though…
Well I hope you all ENJOY~!! :3
“UGH!” You exclaimed and then handed the water bottle back to Ivan.
“What the hell kind of water is that?!”
“Oh… I’m very sorry (Your Name) this isn’t water… this is my vodka.” He said with a smile and you widened your eyes.
“Oh… no you see the thing is… I’m not a drinker…”
15 minutes later…
~I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums
Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone
So while you're here in my arms
Let's make the most till the night like we're gonna die young
We're gonna die young
We're gonna die young
Let's make the most till the night like we're gonna die young~
You heard the music playing but you weren’t really able to distinguish every detail in the room. Except that it was loud… righteous… and totally cool… Right now you just felt so… relaxed. Your head kept tilting right and left for some reason… that must be the party mood because you felt fantastic.
Then the next thing you didn’t really know is that you were staring at the flashing lights on the dance floor… You just stared at them… for some reason it was just so… fascinating…
“So many stars… flashing at us like the awesome ones we really are…” You slurred and then you got up, feeling the sweet buzz on you starting to lessen up a bit. Then you noticed your friend Antonio walking into the men’s room, you smiled strangely and started to walk…
Antonio lightly hummed while he took care of business, completely oblivious to the fact that you were standing right behind him able to see everything but in your drunken state you had absolutely no idea that what you were about to do was something… lewd…
You slowly approached him as he zipped up his pants and then you wrapped his arms around him, spooking him.
“Relax… it’s only me…” You slurred playfully.
“(M-Male Name)?” Antonio asked, now blushing at how close you two were.
“H-How long have you been in here? T-This is the men’s room…” He asked blushing even more because you were definitely a girl and he knew that, how embarrassing would that be?
“I followed you…” You smirked and then Antonio blushed harder, were you watching him?!
“(M-Male Name)…I um…” He said, getting shy all of the sudden but he kept an uneasy smile on.
“My name…is (Your Name)… can you keep that a secret…?” You asked, giving him a suggestive but at the same time cute look.
Antonio couldn’t say no to that, even if you clearly watched him while he was… going but you were a nice person at college and then he smelt the alcohol on your breath. No wonder… but he’d still keep your secret.
“Si, I will keep your secret amiga… (Your name)? Such a beautiful name for such a… bonita chica…” He said still sounding somewhat shy.
“Thank you… by the way… I have a confession…”
“Que? What is it?”
“My dick isn’t 4.2 inches… it’s invisible…” You whispered as if it was so fascinating. Antonio just blushed a rosy pink, he knew what that meant… you didn’t have one…
“My… that’s very interesting.” He said but he kept his usual cheery tone so he would feel less uncomfortable and awkward.
“Oh and here’s another confession. I just love your ass….” You said sounding seductive and then you reached one hand and grabbed his butt which made him gasp and then blush almost as red as one of his tomatoes.
“That’s very kind of you (Your Name) but… you see… I’m…”
“I was going to say that I’d rather have you do this with someone you like… but gracias for the compliment.” He said shakily, trying not to get turned on. For some reason he sensed that there was something between you and Gilbert even if you two seemed like you wouldn’t ever admit it. He was either right or wrong but still… he liked you but he didn’t like-like you.
“And that’s what makes you so hot~ Adios Toni~” You said playfully letting him go and then spanking him, to his embarrassment as he watched you about to leave but then the door opened…
“Antonio mon ami.” It was Francis, staring at the two of you with concerned blue eyes but then he noticed that you were here now.
Your vision was blurry but you were able to see that it was Francis and then you smiled, “Hey Sexy. What’s a hot and sweet croissant like you doing in a place like this?” You asked and then tried looking suggestive again, though you were actually more focused on the bottle of red wine he was carrying in his hand. You had to have it…
Francis was surprised at the sudden change in your demeanor but at the same time he was flattered, “(Male Name), isn’t this… rather kind of you?” He asked, but now it seemed like he was flirting with you too.
“Francis, mi amigo you see the thing is (Your Name) is-“ Antonio said but you cut him off.
“So excited to see you here…” You slurred again, still smiling at the Frenchman.
“(Your Name)?” Francis asked, now he knew your name. It was beautiful…
“That’s my name don’t wear it out~” You sang-sung and then you laughed drunkenly and even held your sides because in your state right now it was THAT funny.
“And don’t tell anyone~” You sang-sung again and then motioned closer towards Francis.
“Francis it seems that (Your Name) has had a bit one too many to drink and-“ Antonio tried to explain again but he was cut off by you again.
“wants to totally rock and roll…” You said and then stared at Antonio again, “Antonio… we finish each other’s sentences… we’re like twins!” You said sounding excited whilst Antonio only chuckled sheepishly.
“Ohohohohon~ (Your Name) you’re being rather bold aren’t you?” Francis asked, enjoying the closeness between you and him right now. Even in disguise you had desirable traits, both inner and outer. You had a cute face, and a cute personality to boot.
“Oui…” You said to imitate his language but then your next move was completely by surprise, once you held Francis by his shoulders and licked his left cheek. Antonio and Francis’ eyes widened in shock and surprise; Francis was so surprised that he didn’t notice that you took the bottle of wine out of his hands, “Love you!” You shouted back to them once you left the two shocked gentlemen in the washroom.
You opened the wine bottle and took a large sip of the sweet red liquid, set it down and then raised your hands in the air.
“WHOOOOO~!” You cheered and then joined everyone else on the dance floor dancing like a maniac.
Meanwhile elsewhere Feliks and Toris were looking for you now. Slightly worried and at the same time hoping that you were having a good time.
“Where the hell is (Your Name)? I swear I’m like gonna kill her once I find her!” Feliks whined, but he was worried about you.
“I don’t know but we’ll find her.” Toris said to reassure his friend, where were you though? He saw what happened not too long ago with you and that homophobe…
“I know we will, but I just hope she’s like okay you know?”
“Me too… she’s a good person…” Toris said, now that he and Feliks were now sitting together and still looking around for you.
“Exactly. And like the thing is I saw how much fun she was having, I mean don’t get me wrong this is totally a fabulous party but she’s never really been a party girl especially… after the heartache in the past…” Feliks said, his green eyes staring down at the ground.
“Heartache?” Toris asked, now turning all his attention to Feliks to hear what he meant by heartache.
“Yeah, you didn’t hear this from me. She’ll kill me but you’re like one of my bestest friends and I think you can know.”
“Okay. Go ahead Feliks I’m all ears.”
“Thank you. Okay so like we met when we were 7 and I... was afraid to talk to her…” Feliks said shyly, because he got so shy around strangers but you were always nice to him enough for him to open up to you.
“But she was like the nicest and sweetest girl in the whole 2nd grade and like me and her were always getting picked on by our asshole-classmates…”
“W-Why were they picking on you two?” Toris asked, his green eyes frowning.
“Well like the guys were always making fun of me just because I liked to play dolls and dress up with (Your Name) and all the girls made fun of (Your Name) whenever she put on a dress because they always called her ‘gross’. Which of course is totally not true but those little bitches made us feel bad. ”
“ By the end of 5th grade we were besties but when we went to middle school we were still getting picked on and at like the end of the year during that 6th grade party I tried telling you about this one bitch got up in front of everyone and said that (Your Name) was a totally uncool loser who’d never be as amazing as they are and that she should just go away.” Feliks explained, it was heart-breaking for him to bring that up but he had to tell Toris because friends share secrets with each other. Yet at the same time he felt like he betrayed you for telling something personal about you to someone you didn’t know quite as well as he did.
“That’s horrible…” Toris spoke up, he was both saddened and disgusted. Saddened by what his two closest friends had to go through and disgusted with the ones who put them through all of that. Though his expression didn’t show his disgust, he kept a concerned face on.
“Yeah I know and then it got worse when Dad left.” Feliks said, by Dad he meant your Dad. The one who hasn’t been around.
“W-Why did he leave? I-I don’t mean to pry…” Toris said unsure, not wanting to reopen anymore wounds.
“No it’s totally okay, he left because… he was disappointed with how (Your Name) was… she was shy and reserved. The only friend she really had was me. He wanted her to be more social and open, and then he got into a fight with Mom over something else, I think he like cheated on her…” He finished that last bit.
“Feliks… I’m so sorry… that you and (Your Name) had to go through that… and… I just want you to know that… if I could have been there… I would’ve been both of your friends…”Toris said, trying not to get too sentimental but he just felt so bad for you two.
“Nah… it’s all right, we’re big kids we can handle it, it like still stings but we’re okay. And thanks Toris you really are like one of the coolest guys I’ve ever met…” Feliks smiled, blushing a little bit. Toris blushed as well, smiling and then he was taken by surprise once Feliks pulled him into a tight hug.
“Where’s (Male Name)?” Andrew asked, him Steve and Keith were also looking for you but you were nowhere to be seen.
“I don’t see him.” Steve said, even with his tall stature he couldn’t find you amongst the heavy crowd.
“Me neither…” Keith said and then he saw you just dancing like a fool in the crowd, but he didn’t say anything.
“(Male Name)…” He thought and then saw his friends looking in another direction, then he simply walked over to you and didn’t bother to tell Steve and Andrew.
“(Male Name).” He said and then grabbed your shoulder.
“Eh?” You tilted your head to see the bespectacled and blue-eyes Keith smiling at you. You smiled back at him, but it looked more weird and like how a drunk smiled.
“Hello (Male Name). How are you?” He asked you, flushing a little bit.
“I am totally awesome! This party rules! Doesn’t it rule?” You asked him but then you moved even closer to him to the point where your noses were touching. Keith blushed harder and then stared at the ground. “I-It does rule…”
Then you gasped once you looked at him a little more clearly, “Oh my God…”
“What is it?”
You stared at him, his entire appearance and focused on his glasses. “I’m in an anime…” You said, your voice sounding amazed and like you were filled with wonder.
“This is so AWESOME~!” You yelled again and then you grabbed Keith’s hands, “Let’s dance Keithie~!” You yelled and then spun him around a little bit, to his secret delight.
“Whoa… Whoa…!” He said but then you lost your grip on him and then went back to dancing like a fool.
Keith was able to catch himself but then he continued to watch you dance, then he stared at his hands… “Hm… at least I can know that I was the first to hold both of his hands… and that me and him touched noses…” He thought to himself while he blushed at those
“Keith!” He turned and saw a concerned looking Steve and Andrew.
“There you are! Are you okay?” Steve asked once he saw his blushing face.
“Yes! I’m okay.” He responded with a smile.
“Are you catching a fever?” Andrew asked, looking just as concerned as Steve.
“Oh… I’m not sure… but I didn’t find (Male Name) unfortunately…” He said, or rather lied smoothly.
“Well don’t worry we’ll find him!” Andrew said with determination, Steve nodded and so did Keith. It’s best that they not know, especially if he wants to keep (Male Name) for him and him only.
“Okay so we gotta find (Your Name) like right now.” Feliks said as he and Toris walked.
“Right, but how hard could it be?” Toris asked, speaking too soon once he heard your voice.
“WHOOO~!” You cheered and then they saw you just dancing in the crowd, like a fool but like a free fool which made the crowd cheer for you. The ones who were drinking alcohol raising their drinks to the music and to the dancers.
Then while you danced you bumped into Gilbert, “Vhat zhe hell? (Male Name)? Vhere zhe hell have you been?” You looked up to see him despite how blurry he looked but you were able to see the cup he was carrying, that had beer in it of course.
“I’ve been partyin’ my ass off Gil! I mean I’m feelin’ so fresh and free! WHOO-HOO~!” You raised your hands in the air, still sitting down. Gilbert stared at you in amusement, you weren’t acting like you so something was up. He got up and then you were gone again.
“Vhere’d he go?” He asked and then he gasped sharply when he felt two hands wrap around his waist.
“HEY!” He yelled shocked and then looked down to see your face buried in his middle, for some reason he blushed but he was appalled.
“(Male Name)! Get zhe hell off vhat are you-?!” He asked but you kept hold of him and laughed drunkenly, “But Giiil~… I want to taste some of that sweetness you have…” You slurred referring to the beer he had but clearly that sounded wrong, very wrong.
Even if you were a guy Gilbert was still embarrassed and horrified by what you were trying to do, oh no it’s bad enough you came out to him and now you’re coming ON to him.
“Get off! I like girls!” He said and then his friends came and saw what was going on; Ludwig, Antonio, Francis, Elizabeta and Roderich.
Ludwig and Elizabeta blushed bright red, though Ludwig’s was more from embarrassment and Elizabeta blushed from excitement, she even giggled at the now suggestive sight of you and Gilbert, even if it was Gilbert you were ‘coming on to’.
“Ohohohon~” Francis chuckled and Antonio had the grace to look both slightly embarrassed and concerned, while Roderich only shook his head at what was going on.
But then Gilbert noticed that your arms weren’t around his waist anymore, and also that his beer was gone! He turned around and saw that you were drinking the cup that was his and then you set it down on the nearest table; which pissed him off because you drank his beer!
“WHOOOO~! I’M SO ALIVE AND SOOOO EXCITED~~!” You cheered and then you got up again and started dancing again to Gilbert’s confusion and slight annoyance. But now he knew what the problem was, you were drunk and apparently a first-timer at that.
“(Male Name)!” He called you because then you went to the front and now the spotlight was on you once you started dancing the most out of everyone else.
“Whoo-hoo! That’s my bro Gilbert!” You yelled and pointed at Gilbert. Then you started shuffling to the song.
Party rock is in the house tonight
Everybody just have a good time
And we gonna make you lose your mind
Everybody just have a good time
Party rock is in the house tonight
Everybody just have a good time
And we gonna make you lose your mind
We just wanna see you!
Every day I'm shuffling
You raised your fists in the air, made air guitar poses, danced the leg grabbing dance and spun around while shaking your body in the most vigorous ways, you were just so full of energy, "YEAH!"
“(Male Name)! (Male Name)! (Male Name)! (Male Name)!(Male Name)!” The whole crowd chanted your name while you continued to dance your ass off. Feliks and Toris tried to get over to you but the crowd was too big to even try and get through. The A.S.K were cheering for you and trying to get through as well but a bunch of other party people were shoving them away. Gilbert stared at you incredulously, he’s seen you act ridiculous before but now this was over the top even if you were drunk.
“I’M A BELIEVER!” You yelled and then ripped open your jacket, lucky for you it was well hidden and looked like any other guy’s lean and shirt-covered chest and thanks to the dim lighting; but you fell over and lost your balance, tripping over one of the wires and you fell on a table. Glasses breaking along with anything else that may have been on there.
Everyone gasped in shock and some laughed, but then you got up. “I’M OKAY!” You yelled and then everyone cheered again. This time you went through the crowd and up to the stage, then took away one of the microphones when the DJ wasn’t looking.
“Ahem! Ahe-hem! Testing! Testing! Heh-heh testicles! HAHAHA!” Your slurred voice echoed through the whole party room and everyone stopped to hear where the voice was coming from. They couldn’t see you but they could hear you, you were in another room where no one else really was but the microphone you had made it easy for them to hear you. Some looked shocked and amused by the little joke you made.
Gilbert noticed that voice as yours except you didn’t sound right… “Vhat zhe hell are you doing (Male Name)?” He asked and looked around to find you but he couldn’t.
“Everyone I would just like to say… that this is only one of the coolest parties… and that you all rule… oh I love all of BLEGH~!!!” You said but you were cut off once you felt something rise up your throat and out of your mouth, which was vomit.
Everyone looked disgusted and confused at that weird noise, Gilbert didn’t know whether to find this hilarious or absurd but man… you were making a fool of yourself right now.
“I just totally threw up party people… HA! Isn’t that awesome?” You asked and everyone looked disgusted once they found out that it was vomiting that they heard.
“Awesomeness… is something that can only be achieved by those who are pure of heart… and I’d like to say that me and this friend of mine have achieved- BLEGH!!” You vomited again and everyone was grossed out even more but then DJ unplugged the microphone where the noise was coming from and put on another song to distract everyone.
You opened the door and then you crawled to the exit, thinking it was some sort of magical portal to take you to an awesome place.
Your walk was like limping and you were clumsy, nearly falling over with every step you took and you didn’t notice that your breath was horrid from the vomit.
"I'm a just-a walkin' the realm to awesomeness~" You sang while slurring and walking like some drunk, totally unaware that now you were just spouting nonsense.
“(Your Name)…” A faint and soft voice called you.
“(Your Name)!” The voice called again and then you stopped for a minute.
“Oh my goodness… I’ve made an imaginary friend…” You said but then that ‘imaginary friend’ turned out to be Matthew.
“(Your Name) are you okay?” He asked looking concerned once he looked at your disheveled appearance.
“Mattie~! I’m not just okay, I’m A-Okay.” You said putting your hands up but then you were about to fall over but then Matthew caught you and you just laughed.
“Oh no… you’re drunk aren’t you?”
“I’m not drunk I’m (Male Name).”
“I’ll take you to your dorm-room…” He said, helping you up and supporting you while he walked you to his car.
~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
“(Male Name)!” Feliks and Toris called, they haven’t seen you since you feel on that table and now they were worried because something was wrong.
“Look there’s Gilbert!” Toris said pointing to where Gilbert was, he was looking for you as well but they didn’t know that.
“Ugh that’s fantastic.” Feliks snarked because he wasn’t really in the mood to talk to Gilbert.
“I know you may not like him but maybe he’s seen (Your Name) around.” Toris claimed and then Feliks, having no other choice went with him to go to where Gilbert was to talk to him.
“Oh it’s you two, vhat do you vant?”
“Have you seen (Male Name)?” Toris asked politely while Feliks only glared at him.
“Nein, I lost track of him once he started puking.” Gilbert crossed his arms and then he started laughing, even if that was gross it was hilarious!
“ARGH! (Male Name)!” Feliks cried out, worried now because he said that the three of them would stick together! Then he heard his phone ringing, and saw that it was (Your Name)!
“That’s him! Hello?! (Male Name)?!” Feliks asked now relieved and albeit too excited to hear you but he was just very worried.
“Hello? Is this Feliks?” Matthew’s soft voice asked but it was too soft for Feliks to hear.
“Hello? Who is this?” Feliks asked, his smile now drooping into an annoyed frown because it wasn't you.
“It’s me, Matthew.”
“Who the hell is Matthew?”
“I’m (Your Name)’s friend.”
“(Male Name)! Is he okay?!” He asked again using your alias because he was talking loud enough for Gilbert to hear.
“Yeah… she’s fine she’s in her dorm-room right now… she was…. Intoxicated but I found her and right now she’s-“ Matthew was cut off by you wrapping your arms around his neck.
You giggled, “I want to make you feel super cool and remembered Mattie~” You said and then nuzzled into his shoulder, making Matthew blush bright red.
Feliks heard you over the line and his eyes widened, your voice was slurred so you were definitely intoxicated. Oh no! You’ve never drunk before but you already made a scene but… at least you were okay…
“Oh my God like thank you SOO much Mattie, I'm so relieved. Even if (Male Name)’s gonna feel that in the morning…”
“I know… but she’ll be okay…”
“Once again thank you so much, I’ll help her out in the morning okay bye-bye.” Feliks chimed hanging up despite how concerned he was now with how you were going to feel in the morning…
“Vhere is he?” Gilbert asked, amused by today’s events. Aside from you basically trying to do something weird to him not too long ago.
“He’s in your dorm-room.”
Toris sighed in relief, “Thank goodness…”
“Ja, but vhat an idiot. Now vhat are ve supposed to do tomorrow?” Gilbert asked and crossed his arms, he could handle you acting weird but a few moments ago you were practically freaking insane due to alcohol influence.
“Help him out as much as we could.” Toris said and Feliks nodded. Gilbert didn’t stare at the two guys in front of him but he thought about it. They were right and plus…
That’s what friends do.
In your dorm-room:
“Man that was a crazy-ass party Mattie!”
“I know, I saw everything…”
“Aw man I wish I coulda been there to party with ya cuz we were feelin so fresh come on Mattie join me… Whoo~” You said raising your hands slightly in the air and breathed that last part.
“Oh (Your Name)…” Matthew sighed, this was unlike you but you were his friend so he’d help you out anyway he could.
He removed your shoes, socks and jacket so that way you could be comfortable. This part would be the hardest… He blushed heavily as he closed his eyes once he lifted up your shirt and grabbed whatever wrapping off your body, careful to avoid seeing any of your feminine features and quickly put your shirt back down. You smiled and your head kept on tilting in different directions.
“That was fun~” You chimed and Matthew only sighed, still blushing from that last part.
He settled you down on your bed and lifted the covers so that way you were in the bed, even tucking you in and you smiled at him with flushed cheeks. “Tell me a story Mattie~” You giggled and just looking at your cute and blushing face made Matthew blush.
“Good night (Your Name)…” He said.
“Good night Mattie~” You slurred and closed your eyes once Matthew closed the door, and then… you passed out… but at least you were on the soft bed of your dorm-room. Completely unaware that the next morning you would wake up feeling completely un-awesome.