The Best Damn Thing- Crossdresser!Tomboy!Reader X Prussia
Well I promised you guys a second chapter and here it is! Once again I apologize for any OOCness, and also to all you readers I’ve decided to turn this into a series! I’m still not very good at writing so I hope it doesn’t suck too bad to you guys, So enjoy this! :3
Blurry, it was all a big blur… the only thing you remembered was running 10 laps around that damned football field and how freaking hot it was outside. Of course since you had to wear all these clothes to pass off as a boy it just made it hotter for you out there. Another thing you remembered was suddenly blacking out, all you heard was Feliks’ worried voice calling your name; or your alias to be exact. You turned your head and kept your eyes shut, the same sting of nausea settling into your stomach and although you were sweating, you knew that you had to have been in the infirmary because of how nice and cool it felt in here. You were on a bed, judging by the pillow you felt your head resting on.
You took a deep breath and slowly opened your eyes, but it was dark. You cringed your nose and took some sort of wet rag that was covering your forehead, as nice as it felt it kinda stank. “Ugh, the heck, this is nasty…” You said with a disgusted face as you picked the rag up by the end.
You heard that same familiar damned chuckle, knowing all too well after this morning who that was, no one other than that guy known as Gilbert. “Ugh…what do you want?”
“Is zhat really how you thank the one who put zhat cool rag on your forehead?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.
You sniffed the rag again and winced, “What the heck, did you rub this on your dick before putting it on my head?” You asked incredulously, though you didn’t think he really did, but…
You were wrong…
“Kesesesese~, how did you know?” He asked, widely grinning as he laughed.
As you threw the sweat rag right in his face. Hard. Droplets of sweat flying off the rag, “Dirty bastard…” You said and then plopped your head back onto the pillow. “Hey! You should be grateful you stupid dummkopf! It vas only when I had my pants on!”
“F*** you Hasselhoff, that’s not the point” Gilbert glared at you and was about to say something without a doubt derogatory to you but was stopped by the other German Ludwig,
“Bruder, vould you leave him alone already?”
You threw an incredulous look at Ludwig, eyebrow raised and all. “He your bro?”
“Ja.” He said and scratched the back of his head, looking somewhat embarrassed.
“Ugh, little siblings must be pains in the asses..." You groaned but then noticed Gilbert’s annoyed looking face, “How rude! I’m the older brother here!”
You widened your eyes, Ludwig definitely looked like the older sibling and he seemed like such too; being all mature and totally serious, and Gilbert seemed too childish and too much of a dumbass for you to believe he was older.
“You coulda fooled me I mean he's the younger one and he's got a taller built than you... Short ass bitch…” You muttered under your breath. Ludwig literally had to hold Gilbert back from beating your ass.
“I’m going to get you, you stupid queer!” He yelled as he was held back.
"F*** you Gilbert." Was all you said with an impassive look.
“(Male Name) ve hope you feel better.” Ludwig said, not seeming like he was struggling with holding Gilbert back.
“See ya…” You said and lied down on the bed while you breathed in and out. At least that nausea of yours had gone away but your legs felt like jelly and you still had more oxygen to catch and a body temperature to regulate. Funny thing is you were kinda glad that Gilbert came in to bother you because he amused you with every time you mocked him and it made you laugh. Laughter is the best medicine.
“(Your name)!” You heard another familiar voice, but one that you were relieved to hear. Feliks came in a little too quickly and to your side, “Like, Ohmahgod are you okay? That was such a nasty fall you took and you’re still sweaty and grody!”
“I’m fine Feliks I just… I’m hot…” You said, but it was more of a moan. “What else is new?” He chuckled and smirked at you, you lightly flushed. “Feliks!” You said and playfully punched him in the shoulder.
“So…you’re okay? Need some water or something?”
“No I’m good, I was just hot and apparently my body couldn’t handle it so it’s okay.”
“Thank God and besides the nurse said you’d totally be able to get up in, like, an hour or something and go on about with your fabulous day.”
You smiled, “Yeah Thank God…” Then you and Feliks continued to laugh and talk about how so far today has been at this wacky-ass school.
~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
After your heat stroke episode, everyone was practically talking about it but that didn’t really matter to you. In fact all that mattered was that despite all of that, no had been able to detect your true gender. You walked down the hallways, ignoring whatever it was that the guys were talking about, about you no doubt and probably things that were none-too-friendly. You rolled your eyes every time you heard something like ‘homo’ or ‘fag’, and chuckled to yourself, even though you were truly a girl, you were straight in both ways. Hehehe, there’s an oxymoron…
The clock read 12:00 pm, so you attended your history classroom, the one that you’d be studying for this semester and hopefully pass. At times you could get great grades and then so-so grades but when you were motivated you got those great grades. However as soon as you walked into the classroom you expected the least…
“ (Male Name)!” An unfamiliar voice called and the source with a weird curl on the side of his hair literally tackled you into a hug.
“Hey! Get off me!” You yelled but then realized how girly that sounded. You cleared your voice, “I mean, get off me!” you yelled just a little deeper this time, but not too fake. You noticed that it was the Italian guy, the cheery one not the grump.
“Ciao! My name is-a Feliciano Vargas, I heard about-a what happened to you today, it sounded so a-scary but I’m so glad that you’re a-okay!” The Italian or Feliciano said in his naturally cheery tone.
“Why?” You asked a little skeptical and wriggled to try and get out of his grip.
“Well Ludwig said that you looked sick and any friend of Ludwig’s is a friend of mine!”
“That guy Ludwig is more my…acquaintance…so that makes us just acquaint-“ You stopped before you looked at the bright smile on Feliciano’s face, “Hm?”
You couldn’t help but smile sheepishly at his bright and almost innocent demeanor, “Yeah…”
“Yay! I’m a-friends with (Male Name)!” He beamed and hugged you tighter, though it wasn’t exactly hard because he wasn’t very strong.
“Oi! Bastardo Fratello! Leave this bastard alone, last thing I want is for you to make this dumbass your new friend.” Said another Italian voice and then you saw that it was the grumpy one.
“Excuse me?” You asked, offended.
Feliciano chuckled a little coyly, “You’ll a-have to forgive my fratello (Male Name), this is Lovino Vargas my big brother but he’s kind of a dick…”
You scoffed, “You don’t have to tell me that.”
Lovino scowled at you, “What the f*** is that a-supposed to mean?!” almost a yell.
“You ARE A dick, or at least you’re acting like one.” You said simply, scowling back at him, the two of you were now stuck in a glaring contest. Geez just how many enemies were you planning on making today?!
“Please a-don’t fight you two!” Feliciano begged on the sidelines, “Sweetie don’t get yourself involved, I can handle this,” You cooed subconsciously not realizing that you let the term of endearment slip, but then you saw Lovino’s face which went from angry to shocked and then you noticed Feliciano wearing the same expression as his brother.
The two brothers just continued to stare at you, and the silence was awkward, but then it stopped when Lovino looked down and if you didn’t know better you’d say he was blushing, quite a lot actually, “Um… never mind…”
“What’s the matter?” You asked, not understanding his now-suddenly flustered actions.
“Let’s go Feliciano…” He said and walked away, the blush still on his face.
“What the heck was that?” You wondered, “Oh shit…I forgot…maybe he thinks I’m gay…yeah that’s probably it and he didn’t like the idea of it… I hope…” What if over your time here at W Academy you’d suddenly run into some gay guys who want to get in your pants and how will they react once they actually try to get that far and see that there’s nothing down there? You could protect yourself enough but if someone found out it would surely be over for you right?
The class was pretty much boring but somehow you managed to NOT fall asleep, though Feliks sitting behind was probably why with how many times he poked you when he noticed you dozing off. As soon as it was over you got up to leave with Feliks until, “Oi, (Male Name)!” You turned to see Lovino, no longer flustered and there was Feliciano by him who was waving ‘Hi’ to you happily. “Come here, we want to talk to you about something.” He asked you curtly.
“(Your name)…” Feliks whispered quietly enough to get you attention to let you know what he was thinking. “It’s okay Feliks I’ve got this, you could go on…” You whispered back and although he was reluctant to do so, he eventually complied.
“Sup bro?” You said casually now that it was just you and the Vargas brothers.
“We… have a-something to ask you…” Feliciano said, scratching his cheek a little nervously and then you noticed a light flush on his cheeks.
“(Male Name)…” Lovino started.
You raised an eyebrow.
“Are you… a girl?” He stuttered that last part, the redness on his cheeks appearing again. You didn’t widen your eyes because that kind of nervous body language would rat you out without you having to tell them. What to do now?! Just say yes and threaten to kick their asses if they say a word, or no! You could say that you’re just a gay guy! Or better yet just do the last best option, deny, deny, deny.
“No.” You said a little curtly to make it sound like Lovino was being ridiculous.
“Listen (Male Name), now I’m clearly not stupid and even though Feliciano is, the two of us are NOT blind.”
“Uh…yeah…” You said and then wanted to slap yourself a million times, why did you admit to the truth?! What the hell happened to deny, deny, deny?!
“I knew it.” Lovino said and Feliciano nodded.
“Hey!” You quickly ran to Lovino and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, “If any of you dicks say at least ONE word to anyone I’ll-“
“Wait! (Male Name)! Please don’t a-hurt Lovino we won’t tell anyone!” Feliciano cried and begged for you.
“Calm down (Male Name)! And could you let me go?” Lovino asked, you scowled at him one last time and let him go.
“You didn’t a-have to f***ing do that! I ain't tellin' anyone shit!”
“And you’d better now tell shi-…I mean…good…but why?” You asked a little sheepishly, sure you just met these guys but they sounded like they were telling the truth.
“Well…” Lovino scratched the back of his head and you noticed him blushing again but then he smirked “You’re a girl so… it’s a-the least I could do for you, bella.” He said and by the way he acting you could tell that he was flirting with you.
“Okay then that’s good but don't call me that in front of the guys or they'll think you're gay too.”
"Like hell i'm going to call you that in front of other people." He scoffed and crossed his arms.
“You won’t have to a-worry (Male Name)! We’ll keep your secret!” Feliciano said happily which made you smile. “Wow you guys are cool, but in private you guys can call me (Your Name).”
“Hm. (Your Name). Okay not bad.” Lovino said.
You chuckled and found yourself walking down the hallway with the Italians. Until Lovino’s sudden outburst. “HEY A-WAIT A MINUTE! If you’re a—“ He screamed until you covered his mouth with your hand and scowled at him because even though it seemed like just the 3 of you, someone could’ve been snooping around and would’ve been able to overhear everything you were saying.
“If you’re a girl, WHY are you at an all a-boy’s school?! Are you some sort of pervert?!” Lovino asked a little loudly and red-faced.
“No dumbass, truth be told I’m actually a tranny.”
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding! No, my grandpa wrote me a letter of recommendation that got me accepted into to this place, besides this was his old college and I was in a rut with picking colleges so here I am, but apparently he missed that this place is an all boy’s school but since it was already done there was no point in NOT coming here.” You finished that last part but then laughed at your grandpa’s silly mistake, you could relate to moments of dopiness like that.
Lovino stopped and stared at you for a minute, there was no way that story could’ve been fake, “Oh..okay then…j-just making sure that you’re not some sort of sicko, psycho bitch or something…”
“Well now that you mention it seeing you guys in the locker rooms has been giving me ideas…”
“WHAT?!” HE yelled again red-faced.
“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” You laughed and then Feliciano joined you even though he was flustered by your tricks too, then Lovino chuckled, “You're a crazy bitch…”
~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
During your lunch break you met up with Feliks in the cafeteria with Lovino and Feliciano with you. You had made some friends today, that was pretty good and they managed to get along with Feliks, or at least Feliciano did. Which you thought was a little odd because Lovino was being courteous to you enough back there and now that he was with you and Feliks he was being hostile, though you were able to see that it wasn’t just Feliks he was hostile to; Ludwig, Feliciano, Ludwig, That Spanish guy known as Antonio, Ludwig again, The French guy known as Francis, Ludwig and did you mention Ludwig?
Well it was okay, boys will be boys. You thought too soon once you felt something hit the side of your cheek, which was a mashed potato ball and it some of it had stuck to your hair. This felt no different from when you got hit in the back of your head this morning. You didn’t even have to guess. You turned your head slowly, seething and saw him…
Gilbert and his friends Francis and Antonio laughing their asses off, “How do you like zhat ball in your face?! Kesesesese~!”
“That’s how you want to play it pal?!” You asked and then grabbed something from the table you were sitting at, a tomato. “HEY!” Yelled Lovino, but you ignored him despite his protests over 'wasting a perfectly good tomato' and then threw it at Gilbert but missed and hit somebody else. “Bloody Hell!” The voice was British and angry.
“Whoops…” You thought and then said British guy glared at you.
“HA! You got him good!” Yelled that American guy who made his way to you, “That makes you cool (Male Name)!” You smirked and then you noticed the British guy glaring at both you and Alfred but he looked like he was blushing.
“Thanks.” You said somewhat proud but you felt slightly bad about hitting the British guy, he didn’t do anything to you.
“Ohohohon~! Oui, I agree what you’ve done to Arthur’s face is quite an improvement.” Francis sniggered and earned a glare from the guy Arthur. “Shut it you stupid frog!” Arthur yelled angrily and threw something that looked almost inedible and threw it right in Francis’ face. “My beautiful face!” He cried as if whatever that was hit him would make his body disintegrate.
“FOOD FIGHT!” The same American yelled and then his called food fight ensued and food was flying everywhere. From potatoes to tomatoes, to pasta noodles to hamburgers and those thingies that Arthur had to cakes. Not that you weren’t having a hell of a great time, you got to spill soda all over Gilbert’s ‘awesome’ hair to go with that fat head of his until he threw a bunch of spaghetti noodles in your hair and even slapped you in the face with a bratwurst. However despite the fighting there was still laughter that sounded like you two were sincerely enjoying yourselves. It was all fun and games until…
“EVERYONE KNOCK IT OFF!” Yelled an angry Ludwig and suddenly everyone just stopped throwing their food and froze in their spots. “You’re all making a mess!” He yelled, he was apparently a neat-freak with a passion. You pouted a little bit, “Killjoy…” you thought.
Ludwig took a few deep breaths from yelling until he suddenly got hit in the face with a lot of cake, hard. From Lovino of course. Despite telling everyone to stop Ludwig himself got caught up in the food fight that had now started again.
~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
Yeah it was all fun and games until you all got in trouble… In the dean’s office the ones that had started the food fight received a stern warning, which was you, Gilbert and the American you picked up as Alfred. Thankfully you didn’t get detention in college but still…getting in trouble on your first day… wow (Your Name), Wow….
You sighed and walked down the hallway covered in food, spaghetti noodles in your hair with tomato sauce on your face, with cake icing and mashed potatoes; not to mention that your cheek smelled like sausage after getting smacked with bratwurst. The others behind you were just as filthy with food but then you started laughing, “You guys look ridiculous!”
“We do?! You should see yourself!” Alfred laughed and then you laughed along with him.
“Kesesese~ You both look like retards, vhilst I still look awesome as ever even vith all this food” Gilbert from behind you gloated with his nose in the air.
“You’re a retard.” You said back to him but he just smirked at you, that was the weakest come-back you’ve given him today but oh well.
“You’re cool (Male Name!)” Said Alfred as he flashed you a smile, “You should hang out with me, after all you won’t meet another guy like me, cuz I’m the hero!” He said with a grin and a thumbs up.
“ Okay bro! Sweetness!” You said flashing a grin similar to his, finally an actually boyish guy that you can be like a dude with since you were almost practically one of the guys, of course your best friend would always be Feliks but a new friend that is similar to you in a way wouldn’t hurt.
“Awesome, dude! So where’s your dorm room?”
“Honestly… I don’t know… I’m thinking I’ll just head on back to my house.”
“Vhy? You not comfortable hanging around the other guys, are you a homo? The idea of this turn you on?” Gilbert asked you smugly and you exchanged him a scowl. “Yes actually and you’d better not sleep cuz like Freddy Krueger I’ll violate you in your sleep, cuz I AM A HUUUGE HOMO!” You said in a joking manner but you received a loud laugh from Gilbert.
“Wow you vierdo freak! I knew you vere gay, you looked like it!”
“I’m not gay you ass.”
“I think you are…” He said while he motioned closer to your face which made you take a step back, what’s with this guy? Is he a freak? Is he gay…?
“Why do you think I am? Are YOU the homo?!”
“Me?! A HOMO?! HA, NO!”
You turned and began to speed-walk while Alfred walked next to you, “Hey!” Called Gilbert once he noticed that you had left him in your wake.
“Hello! I’m talking to you dummkopf!”
Still no response.
“Are you deaf or just stupid?!”
“I’m not interested in you so I’m politely ignoring you.” You said simply and didn’t even look at him, but you were able to tell that by his muttering and grumbling that he was getting pissed off. You continued to ignore him and then you started talking to Alfred, “So where’s your dorm room Al?” You asked sounding a little too formal but he didn’t seem to mind at all. “Oh I’m with my bro Matt.”
“Matt? What kind of guy is he?” You asked with curiosity.
" I guess for starters he's Canadian, he's super quiet and also super shy and all too, and just between you and me he still has a teddy bear. He’s pretty much in love with maple syrup and people tend to forget about him for some reason or at least that’s what he tells me all the time.” Alfred went on and you could only raise an unamused eyebrow, that’s a generous way of talking about your brother, he sounded nice and almost normal compared to everyone else around here. Though…Feliciano and Lovino were fine, and Ludwig… unlike some people…
“So I’ll see ya around (Male Name)?”
“Yeah sure thing Al” You said and smiled a friendly smile. Alfred stared at you for a while and then grinned again, “Kay, dude see ya around.”
“See ya bro.” You said until you realized once Alfred left it was just you and Gilbert now, “Alone at last!” Gilbert said before you punched him in his stomach, hard. “GAH!” He yelled and doubled over in pain from your counterattack, you laughed but then you suddenly slipped. “AH!” Gilbert had tripped you with his foot as an act of revenge for that, but you had a feeling you’d eventually get more for all you’ve said and done today.
“Oh… motherf***er…” You muttered as you lied on the floor along with Gilbert, both of you groaning. You heard footsteps making their way over to you, “Bruder, is zhis really necessary?” It was Ludwig, and he looked irked.
“Of course it is! Zhis stupid guy has some nerve trying to f*** with the Awesome-me! So I’ll f*** him up too!” Gilbert managed to say through the pain in his stomach. “Why do I keep getting hurt today?” You asked yourself as you continued to lie on the floor with your rear end high in the air and the pants you wore had gotten yanked from the bottom to show off your calves. The way you were on the floor made your pants able to show off your hips and womanly legs slightly, all for Ludwig to see not that you knew since you were looking the opposite direction. He blushed bright red and looked away,
You picked yourself up and rubbed your shoulder from your 3rd downfall today and noticed Ludwig’s brilliantly blushing face. “What’s the matter Ludwig?” You asked.
“N-nothing…” He stuttered.
“Vhat’s wrong Vest?” Gilbert asked, though you didn’t believe it you could’ve sworn that he sounded concerned, then again these two were brothers.
“I said nothing.” He said a little more clear and his blush dying down a bit.
“Okay then, see you around Ludwig.” You said and turned to keep walking down the hall, “Oh and you too Gilbert.”
“Zhat’s the Awesome Gilbert to you!” He yelled back while he pointed to you, “F*** you dummkopf.” You said again, you didn’t speak German but you were sure that it meant somewhere along the lines of ‘dumbass’ or ‘retard’.
“Fine I vill tonight.” He smirked at you while you raised your eyes. “Oh hold on wait.” You said and walked over to Gilbert, “I have something to tell you.” You said but then you slapped his cheek and ran off cackling. “Son of a bitch!” You heard him yell as you continued to laugh and run.
“Vhy the hell vould they let such an un-awesome guy like zhat in here?” Gilbert asked annoyed to Ludwig, whom began to blush again… Guy… right…
~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
You laughed as you walked through the hallway and then you saw your best friend. “(Your Name)!”
“Feliks!” You said and you pulled him into a hug, since no one was around. “Eww...! There’s food all over you! Get cleaned up or something!” He said as he winced from hugging you. “All right but I need a new jacket cuz this one’s covered in food and stuff.”
“Why don’t you, like, go take a shower or something?” He asked you, since your face and your hair was filthy and so was everything else.
You thought about it for a minute, should you take that risk? Or not? Then again, there were doors that kept you guys from seeing each other naked right? You hoped. But that had to be true, unless all these guys are homos.
“Okay I’ll do it. By the way Feliks do YOU have a dorm room?”
“Yeah totally girl, I’m, like, with this guy named Toris. But I didn’t exactly… you know...stick around…” He said shyly and twiddled his fingers. You smiled and tousled his hair, you knew how shy he was around strangers and you remember how shy he was when he first met you.
“Cool man, though I wish it were me.”
“That’s okay I can always, like, hang out with you at your house. It’s so much better over there.”
“Yeah, well okay I’m going now.”
“I’ll come with. Just in case you know?” He said and you nodded, it was best that Feliks had your back while you attempted to shower.
In The Locker Rooms:
You walked into the locker room which was thankfully empty you grabbed a towel as you made your way to the showers and didn’t have to worry because Feliks was outside on watch for anyone that attempted to come in, “Yes!” You said as you began to remove your clothes to your undergarments, “That's right, I get to take a shower, at all guy's school~” You hummed as you felt a little too confident right now. However unknown to you, you weren’t alone…
“Kesesese~…” Gilbert chuckled quietly
“Stupid (Male Name), he’ll see how funny it is once I scare him so bad he runs out the showers… Running outside naked in front of all zhe guys outside, it’ll be his dream come true…” He giggled and kept hidden as the water started to run.