The Best Damn Thing Chapter 4: Crossdressing! Tomboy! Reader X Prussia
Chapter 4! Ha! Never thought I would get so much done in a few weeks but seeing all these comments just made me so happy so I had to do it!
“Ugh…” You groaned as you rubbed your eyes which had noticeable bags, apparently you didn’t get that much sleep last night. That’s what you get for spending your first day at your new university in your dorm-room with a total stranger you didn’t even like. Gilbert Beilschmidt, you had taken the time to learn his surname because you didn’t care about him enough to learn it at first. Now that you both share a room you kind of have no choice.
“Whoa! (Male name) You look HORRIBLE! What happened?!” Feliks asked and then you noticed his roommate Toris standing next to him. He had shoulder-length brown hair and greenish-blue eyes and that he looked somewhat concerned for you.
You couldn’t stop yourself from yawning, “I spent my night in my dorm-room with that asshole Gilbert and he kept me up all night going “ Oh Ja~!” You said and got up and struck a few aroused poses to emphasize what you had to listen through last night, much to Feliks’ and Toris’ disgust.
“T-That must’ve been… hard…” Toris stuttered out.
“Oh yeah (Male Name) this is my roommate Toris the Lithuanian kid I was talking to you about and he’s actually, like, really cool so we’re totally friends now!”
“Yo, so you’re Feliks’ roommate.” You said with a raised eyebrow, which seemed to make the guy nervous.
“Hi, my names Toris Laurinaitis, it’s nice to meet you, Feliks has said a lot about you… you sound like… a very incredible person…” He said a little shyly but you thought it was kind of cute but when he said Feliks had said a lot about you, you hoped that he didn’t accidentally blurt out the BIG thing about you…
“Oh really? Well… I hope he hasn’t said too much about me… heh, I’m not that great…” You said and looked at Feliks but he gave you a look of reassurance, to let you know that he didn’t say anything.
“Um…please forgive me for asking…but is all of that true?”
“Well…everyone seems to think that you’re…gay…” He said, unsure how to put it though he didn’t want to make it sound rude and prayed that you didn’t get angry or offended.
You weren’t, but now that’s another lie that you had to stick with. “Yes…” You said just a little awkwardly.
“Oh…well that’s okay. I’m glad I know that now because if me and Feliks are going to be hanging out with you… I can know a little bit more about you…” He said and began to twiddle with his fingers.
“All right, cool.” You smiled and vigorously shook his hand, making him chuckle. “Well let me introduce myself Toris, name’s (Male Name) (Surname). I like to jam, sing and play games. I don’t like to brag but I can be pretty awesome.” You said and nodded.
“He totally is!” Feliks said with a smile as bright as you, Toris couldn’t help but feel somewhat nervous and at the same time happy, these two looked like really friendly guys so he’d definitely let him in. “And I know you guys are friends now and all but between you and me Feliks here is almost too gay to function.” You said and laughed a bit and earned a chuckle from Toris.
“Not cool (Male Name)!” Feliks flushed and nudged your shoulder and you just pinched his cheek. Toris watched you two and blushed, “I wonder… but… even if he is… maybe they’re just really close...”
“Umm… hey (Male Name), Feliks. Do you think maybe now's a good time to go to one of our classes?”
You and Feliks looked at each other for a minute and smiled the same smile. “Yeah but let's all walk together.”
“Okay!” He said almost a little too happily. He followed you two through the cafeteria, past those crazy-ass hallways where all hell was loose with the wacky-ass dudes so you three had to dodge whatever it was thrown at you as you struggled to get out of it, then outside to football field where the track and other athletic teams were doing their training. To Toris’ confusion as to why the three of them were out here instead. “Umm… guys where are we exactly? ”
“Out here enjoying the beautiful day, we’re practically young adults now, man. So we can schedule our classes whenever we want as long as we attend them every day, just not now though because it’s 9 in the morning.”
“Oh, okay then that makes sense… why’d you guys ask me to follow you though?”
“Because we’re your friends.” You and Feliks smiled, Toris smiled too but tried to not smile too big, “Wow… I’m a little unsure what kinds of things could happen but these guys are now my friends, there’s just no way I can turn them down, ever!” He thought with glee.
“So, how has this school been for you two so far?”
“Fine, if you like being harassed.” You said with a slight frown.
“(Male Name)’s got that dude Gilbert Bielschmidt on his ass and they share a room, so it’s, like, not going to get pretty.” Feliks explained for you.
“I’ve heard of him, he doesn’t sound like the nicest guy in the world but I’m sure he’s not all bad…” Toris said trying to reassure you some way.
“Yeah I wish, at first I thought he was just your average everyday fat-headed, asshole-type dickhole and I was right, which sure as hell ain’t good for my case. Now that he’s told everyone that I’m gay I can’t expect to get a lot of kind words from anyone but oh well f*** em.” You said which earned you a worried look from Toris and Feliks.
“You won’t have to worry about that (Male Name), me and Toris will, like, totally have your back through thick and thin, right Liet?” He said and nudged Toris’ shoulder. “Liet?” He thought about it for a minute and then he decided he would go with it, despite whatever troubles may come along, these guys are his friends now as they said so he would only do his best to help them. “Yes.”
You smiled and nodded your head, “Congrats Toris you’re officially one of my bros and it’s your lucky day that you get to spend your college years will two of the awesomest people you know.”
~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
Now that it was official that Toris was a new friend of yours and Feliks’ things were a little bit better now that you guys got to spend classes together when you decided to go to class together. Also you got to chat with the Italian brothers Feliciano and Lovino Vargas and you got along with Alfred F Jones due to your similar outgoing personalities. You didn’t think you’d make this many friends here by the first week, but now aside from Feliks you had a sufficient amount of friends and then of course you had something of a rival too…
While you sat on your bed in your dorm-room you snapped out of your thinking mode once you felt a paperball hit the back of your head and then you saw Gilbert who was sniggering at you with a psychotic looking grin, you narrowed your eyes at him. “Who’s vas your new friend (Male Name)? Is he another boy you’d like to bang?”
“No, he is not he is just a friend thank you very much.”
“Yeah right, trying to take zhings slow, ja?”
“Ehehehehe~” You mocked laughed.
“By zhe vay nice bags, did you get zhem from zhe mall?” He asked referring the bags that were still under your eyes from not getting much sleep the previous one.
“No I got em from my buddy Gilbert because he had a date with his buddy.” You said and then got up in front of him, “Oh Ja~, JA~! OH, OH, JA~! JA~!” You said and struck some aroused looking poses and motioned your hands around your chest area down to the crotch area to imitate how you saw it, to serve to embarrass Gilbert but he only smirked, “Zhat’s cute.”
“You know (Male Name) I remember when I first jacked off.”
“Oh ho ho ho, ha ha friggin ha, you’re SOOOO funny. The was so funny I forgot to laugh with feeling.”
Needless to say you two spent the whole class time just glaring at each other… getting back to your dorm room wasn’t too friendly either. “You know what Gilbert, I wasn’t very clear about ALL the rules in this room since it’s ours.”
“Rules? We may share zhe same room (Male Name) but zhis is technically mein room so it’s mein rules.” He grinned and you just sneered at him. “Like hell it is, I think we should have equal rules as long as they're not dumbass ones.”
“Fine, don’t get into mein stuff, don’t touch any of mein stuff and don’t-“ He was cut off by something that sounded like a chirp.
“Did you just chirp?”
“Nein, I-“ Another chirp and then the source; a cute little yellow chick appeared from behind and landed on Gilbert’s shoulder and then you smirked.
“Last time I check, no kinds of pets were allowed in the school.” You crossed your ams, your smirk still present.
“Hey now zhose rules are one of those dumbass rules zhat no one likes to listen to.”
“Does birdy have a name?”
“Ja, of course! Zhis is zhe awesome Gilbird!” He said and held Gilbird on his fingers, whom in return chirped happily but you had to hold yourself from laughing too loud once you heard that poor bird’s name.
“HAhahahaha~!” You laughed which earned you a bit of a scowl on Gilbert’s face,
“Woooooow~… you’re that full of yourself ain’t ya?” You asked with a wide smirk and wide eyes.
“Well I am zhat awesome.” He smirked and held his nose in the air in a haughty fashion.
“More like you’re that lame.” You snarked.
“You’re zhe lame one, first you pass out during a jog, then you’re singing stupid little songs in zhe shower and now you’re a fag.” He listed all the things that happened to you from yesterday to today, what an interesting way to begin your first days of college, indeed. Well at least you haven’t made a complete fool of yourself so far.
“Yeah but I kept my head held high through it all.” You said even though you were kind of losing the fight, but this guy gave you his own dumb logic so you’d fight fire with fire.
“Ok Mr.Awesome, how awesome do you think it would be if a little birdy chirped a chirp that another little birdy somehow got into the place?” You asked with a raised eyebrow and a threatening smile.
Gilbert didn’t normally care about getting into trouble; hell he was always in trouble but not having Gilbird at college wouldn’t be fun at all, he was alone enough.
“I’m thinking about it.” You looked the other way and kept your smirk on, but then you put your eyes back on Gilbert’s disappointed look, for once he was not amused. You sighed deeply, “Fine…”
“Vhat do you mean fine?”
“I’m going to keep my trap shut about the bird.” You said and awaited something along the lines of what could seem like gratitude from this guy, “Zhat’s right, you vill keep your mouth shut! It’s about time you showed me some respect!” He grinned at you that same damned smug grin, which pissed you off to no end but what an ungrateful jerk. Gilbert laughed for a while until a pillow hit him right in the face, that you threw at him of course “Vhat vas that for you little brat?!”
“ ‘Zhat’ was for being an ‘arschole’ (asshole).” You mocked his German accent and threw a little insult at him to piss him off, it worked. “You sound ridiculous.” He said.
“Me? You should hear you.” You pointed at him with an amused smile.
“You’re the ‘arschole’” He grumbled and pouted a little bit.
“No… you just bring out the ‘arschole’ in me.”
Gilbird chirped and then hopped a bit towards you, although you thought it’s name was silly and foolish you couldn’t say that the bird wasn’t adorable. You put your finger closer towards Gilbird and he latched onto it in return. You chuckled at its cuteness “Hey Gil, your bird’s actually pretty cute.”
“Vhat zhe? Gilbird!” He said and waved his hand for Gilbird to come back to where he was, and like a good bird he obeyed but you didn’t mind. You did cross your arms in satisfaction though, “Hm I think he likes me.”
“Ur… lucky you, but don’t zhink zhat changes mein opinion about you (Male name)”
“Good because I still don’t like you.”
~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
Over your first week while you two shared a room together, you were still hostile and competitive towards each other, and did nothing but pull pranks on each other and then later on get back at each other all in those same days. It wasn’t pretty…
Monday: Gilbert drew on the back of your parka’s a, yes you guessed it. A penis, a dick. And to add insult to injury he also wrote that phrase ‘Likes Boys’ from that T.V show Glee. Oh yeah couldn’t he be original, you thought. To get him back, while your friends and his friends were browsing the auditorium, Gilbert got up onto the stage bragging about his ‘awesomeness’ and you took the opportunity to literally kick him in the ass and made him fall face-first onto the hard floor. Literally blowing him off the stage.
Tuesday: You were going to get him first today, by waking up real early in the morning at 5. Which was a surprise because you didn’t like getting up early, but what can you say when you’re motivated you’ll do anything especially when it comes to fun games like this. Gilbert was sleeping in that day from the previous night when him and his friends went out drinking at a bar; you had a lipstick dispenser with you and painted his lips and gave him some blush and mascara. Needless to say everyone laughed at him that day, and you paid the price all right. While his brother Ludwig was secretly baking, a cake no less he grabbed you by the hair and stuff your face in it, and you got blamed for it. Oh well you saw that one coming.
Wednesday: Today you were awoken with a cold, friggin cold splash of water that Gilbert has spilled all over you on purpose, at 5 no less. You kind of threw a bit of a bitch fit so in return Gilbert kicked you out of the dorm-room and you were forced to go home for a bit, all at 5 in the freaking morning. Today you didn’t feel like showing up but only a child would throw a tantrum over something like that right? And after a bit of coaxing from nonstop phone calls from Feliks you went back, in time for you to do your classes too. Today was hot and you noticed some of the guys jumping into the pool because of how hot it was, Gilbert wasn’t in yet because he still had his clothes on and everything so you snuck up behind him and pushed him in. Hey if he soaks you first, you soak him back.
Thursday: During lunch break you gave Gilbert some salt to put on the potatoes he was eating but he got more salt than he wanted, it was juvenile but it worked. In return he snuck the soda can you had and shook it like crazy when you weren’t looking and sprayed all over your face. Apparently the both of you were running out of things if you were both resorting to juvenile tricks like these…
Friday: Okay you had to admit that as fun as this was, it was also getting exhausting; as most fun things normally do get eventually. You didn’t even bother to think of what to do to him this morning all you wanted was to go to class, talk to your friends and then afterwards do some jamming and go to sleep. Everyone else that you knew by now were either awaiting what you two would do next to each other, some thought you were both being stupid and should stop disrupting the peace (or whatever peace this school has) and others were worried about what you two were doing to each other and how it would affect you.
“Ugh hey Feliks, hey Toris.” You waved and sat by them like you have been. “(Male Name)… I know that you and Gilbert don’t get along but don’t you think that this is going a little too far?” Toris asked, by the humiliation you’ve been facing for the last week he was worried that eventually more would come your way if this continued,
“He’s totally right (Male Name), look at you! You like, look awful… which is a HUGE contrast to how you hot you are.” Feliks said, now he really wanted you to stop this, sure he, you and Toris shared laughs over what you did to Gilbert through the past week but you were getting victimized too and he didn’t like it one bit.
“Yeah yeah I know I look like shit, but I’m thinking I’ll make some sort of deal with the bastard and when I do just one more trick on him we’ll both be singled out, we’ll leave each other alone and then continue hating each other without all this shit.” You explained, the guys nodded but the shared unsure and worried glances.
You sat at your table and laid out your arms out to rest your head on, zoning out for a bit.
“Um… Feliks… is (Male Name)…usually this stubborn?” Toris asked Feliks.
“Oh yeah she’s always been this stubborn since we were like, 7. Whoops!” He said and shot his hand to his mouth, “I’m SUCH a moron!”
“Wait, I’m sorry what?” Toris asked with disbelief.
“I didn’t say nothing! I just said that (Male Name)’s like, always been that stubborn!”
He said, hoping that Toris didn’t catch anything of what he said just seconds ago.
“Oh. Well do you think he’ll be okay?”
“Totally, he’s been through worse, I like, always have his back but he’ll get through it, he’s a big boy he can handle it…” He chuckled uncomfortably and Toris only looked confused.
Class was pretty boring but you managed to get some information down to get it done, normally you’d procrastinate but in college… it’s a bitch so you have to get faster at it and get your work done quicker. After all that writing you plopped your head back on the table and tried to sleep for a bit, but something poked your head.
“Hey, (Male Name).” the poker was Gilbert and you looked up to see a wide grin on his face, you knew you should’ve been afraid but you were too tired to almost care. “Now what?” You said completely careless and apathetic.
“You have a package.”
“Package? From where? Who?” You stared at him and saw him carrying what seemed like a box package.
“How should I know? I got to my dorm-room and it’s on your bed saying To: (Male Name) (Surname). It’s probably something completely un-awesome if it’s for you.”
You snatched it from him and scowled at him, “Hm… that’s weird… I didn’t even send anything or pay for anything…”
“Maybe it’s a secret admirer, somebody else here might be gay and vant to get in your pants after all, shouldn’t you feel so lucky? Kesesesese~!”
“Ehehehehehehe~!” You shook your head around and mock laughed. You shook the box package to detect what it could’ve been but even though it did sound like something was in it, you couldn’t identify it. “Eh, guess I have no choice but to open it.” You thought, though something at the back of your head was shouting ‘Don’t open it!’ ‘Don’t open it!’
“Who do you think it’s from (Male Name)?” Feliks made his way over and noticed you trying to open the box.
“Dunno. But judging by whatever’s in here we’ll find out.” You said and ripped off the tape.
“What do you think is in there?” Toris asked, standing next to Feliks.
“Dunno that either.” You said and flipped open the box, and froze…
Not in shock…
The box was full of (Your most hated things/creepy crawly/fear spiders, worms, rats, beetles, etc) You shrieked a very girly shriek and dropped the box, so scared that you fell on your bum and crawled away from the box. Anybody else in there either laughed at your shriek or got freak out themselves but Gilbert just laughed aloud, man you screamed like a girl.
You couldn’t stop staring at the contents, some of it getting closer (or crawling towards you) and you screamed again and ran right out of the room, not caring about the laughter that was being aimed at you. “OH MY GOD!” You screamed and ran through the hallways, disgusted and horrified.
“(Your name)!” You heard Feliks yell from behind you.
“(Your name?!” Toris thought as he followed you with Feliks but he didn’t bother with it, right now all that mattered was catching up to you to calm you down.
Finally you stopped running and screaming and slid down to the floor and hugged your chest you were so scared, “(Your name) it’s okay! It’s okay!” Feliks got down to your level and rocked you gently to stop you from shaking and shivering while Toris did the same but instead he patted your back and stroked your hair. “It was so…scary… so gross…so…!” You managed to stutter out but the boys continued to comfort you. “I know I know, but it’s okay now…” Feliks cooed.
“You’re okay now (Male Name). You’re okay…” Toris said in a very gentle tone. As much as you wanted to cry, you kept your cool and let yourself bask in the boy’s gentle words and kindness.
In the Class Room:
“Gilbert, dude what the hell?!” Alfred yelled, outraged and disapproving of what he just did.
“That wasn’t very nice, Gilbert…” Antonio said, his normally cheerful attitude drooping just a little bit. “Oui, that was uncalled for…though what he’s done to you mon ami was uncalled for too…” Francis said; he and Antonio found your antics amusing but both of you were getting a little out of hand.
“This is why you two blokes should’ve stopped this nonsense in the first place, look what it’s come to now!” Scolded the British guy Arthur Kirkland.
“Okay, okay even I’ll have to admit, that maybe… I took it… a little too far…” Gilbert said a little awkwardly, because he was practically admitting something he did wrong in front of all his friends.
“You zhink? You sent zhe poor guy screaming.” Ludwig said which sounded more like he was scolding him despite being the younger sibling.
“Poor (Male Name)…” Feliciano said sadly, worried about you. While Lovino just scowled at Gilbert, angry with how he tricked you like that, especially since he knew that you were really a girl.
Gilbert had enough grace to look just a little ashamed, maybe you guys did take it too far. And though you both didn’t know it is that you both agreed that you took this thing too far, but you weren’t exactly sure how to admit it to each other.
~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
After a few more minutes of comfort, you were able to calm down and regain your composure as you got up to your feet; not able to stop yourself from blushing heavily from what just happened to you and how you showed your more vulnerable self, though that was kind of your fault…
“Are you like, okay (Your Name)?” Feliks asked, holding your hand.
“Yeah…thank you so much Feliks…” You said, squeezing his comforting hand, “And thank you very much too Toris-“ You said and noticed a blushing Toris staring at the two of you.
You and Feliks both now wearing the same ‘Oh shit’ expression, “Uh… Toris… this is like, NOT what it looks like!” Feliks tried to explain.
“Oh! No, no it’s okay! B-but… you could get in a lot of trouble for this…”
“Yeah, I know…” You said and rubbed your shoulder, looking down at your feet.
“B-but don’t worry! I swear I’ll keep this a secret!” Toris said noticing the change in your demeanor.
“Really? Even though me and Feliks pretty much lied to you?”
“Of course and besides I’m sure you guys felt you had to lie, it’s perfectly fine. And besides what are friends for?” Toris said and smiled at you two.
“Wow…” You thought.
Feliks laughed with glee and wrapped his arm around Toris’ neck affectionately, “See (Your Name) I told you he was totally cool!”
“Yeah… you told me… okay Toris, truth be told. My name is (Your Name). But you’ll have to call me (Male Name) in public when we’re around everyone else.”
The three of you smiled together, and you almost forgot about your previous fear and embarrassment. Almost…
~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
In your dorm-room, though you pretty much freaked out on Gilbert during class today you at least told yourself to have the balls to face him. You opened the door and first saw Gilbert sitting on his bed with a concentrated look on him face, until he perked up his head and saw you “(M-Male Name)!”
“Sup?” You said simply.
“Don’t sneak up on me like zhat!”
“Sorry, just came in.” You said and then lied on your bed and faced the opposite of Gilbert, you were somewhat mad but you knew that you were at fault here too but you were battling with your pride to mutter out an apology.
“Hey…(Male Name)…” Gilbert called you and you lied on the other side to face him.
You could’ve sworn you saw him flush a little bit but the room was somewhat dim, “Nein! It’s nothing! Never mind…”
You sighed, he couldn’t swallow his pride like you couldn’t…
“I’m sorry… thing is man, me and you went mad but I took my pranks a little too far and that only heated things up between the two of us even more.” You said and hung your head. “So yeah I’m sorry…”
Gilbert stared at you for a minute, stunned at how you were the one to apologize when he knew he behaved just as bad as you did. And also kind of awkward for some reason when he stared into the honest look in your (eye color) eyes. But he shook it off once he noticed what he was thinking.
“You’re sorry? I mean I’m the one who should be… you know that, but… it vasn’t really awesome of me vas it…?” He asked and scratched the back of his head, not looking at you to hide the blush growing on his cheeks.
You noticed the change in his demeanor and couldn’t help but smile at how cute he kind of looked…all flustered and blushing… wait what were you thinking?!
“Well I know I wasn’t awesome… it’s my fault…” You said awkwardly and flushed a bit yourself.
“Nein, it’s mein fault…”
“If you mean that the fault is yours, then yes the fault is mine.” You said, somewhat unable to distinguish his accent.
He shook his head, "It’s mein fault.”
“Mein!” He said, getting slightly frustrated because he knew that he only stirred the hornet’s nest in your rivalry.
"Mine!" Now you were getting competitive.
“Mine!” You fought back but the both of you exchanged glares and then you both huffed and looked away.
5 silent awkward minutes passed before you spoke up, “Okay listen up Hasselhoff, it’s both our faults and I think we can both agree on that, and that as much as we both don’t like to admit it… we were both pretty un-awesome…”
“But… I’m not a huge fan of you still but I think we ought to stop this… you know getting back at each other thing and just go back to insulting each other, what do you say?”
Gilbert looked at you for a minute, a little confused by how you were willing to let this go. “Ja… zhat sounds… awesome!”
You chuckled at how he was back to normal, “Okay that’s good cuz I’d rather go back to calling you a lame-o douchebag again, Mr. Awesome.”
“Ja, and I enjoyed calling you a ‘girly-faced’ faggot.”
You thought for a minute, “Don’t remember the girly face, bro.”
“O-oh!” He stammered once he noticed what he said, “Vell… it’s true your girly looking face only makes you look like a bigger homo than you already are.” He smirked at you and you shared the same smirk, enjoying the normality of you two a little too much.
“Heh, it’s been fun today Gilbert, by the way how did you know that I was deathly afraid of (whatever it is your afraid of)?”
“I didn’t!” He laughed.
“Ehehehe~! Lucky guess.” You mocked laughed.
“Of course I guessed right I am Awesome and smart!”
“Yeah, yeah but when you were apologizing because you were SORRY you didn’t look that awesome for a minute there, Mr. Awesome.” You teased and earned the reaction you wanted.
“Vhat?! You must need glasses (Male Name) I always look awesome! Even when I’m… apologizing…” He said a little sheepishly and blushed again; he wasn’t really used to apologizing because aside from Francis and Antonio he didn’t have very many friends.
“You really meant that didn’t you?” You asked, smiling gently but he looked back at you with an embarrassed look, his cheeks bright red.
“Hey now! I’m too awesome for zhings like ‘apologizing’ okay?! So don’t rub zhat in! And zhis is between you and me so if you tell anyone else about this, I vill kick your gay ass! Got it?!" He said in an attempt to threaten you but he sounded too embarrassed to really mean any threat.
You giggled and then lied your head on the pillow, “No, no Gil it’s okay I wouldn’t do that. Trust me.”
“Eh… fine…” He huffed and then lied on his bed with his hands on his head, “I’m still awesome-r than you though.”
“Yeah, yeah I know Mr. Awesome…” You smiled and closed your eyes, “You're awesome..." You rolled your eyes as you whispered low enough so he wouldn’t hear you. Luckily he didn’t but although you couldn’t see it, he had a real smile on his face as the both of you lied on your beds in your room together.