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The Best Damn Thing-Reader X Prussia Chapter 5
Chapter Freaking 5~! I knew I'd get this one done today, ENJOY FELLOW READERS! :3

7:30 am, that’s earlier than you normally woke, but the sun shining out of the window of yours and Gilbert’s room shone right in your face which made you turn and fall face-first onto your pillow.  At least 2 weeks at this school already, almost about to be 3 and you and Gil's rivalry didn't cease to fade but at least you guys were on better terms. Right now you felt like sleepong all day anyway, then again something in your head told you to get out of bed soon or else you’d end up looking like that one Greek guy who always slept in class; and surprisingly even he got all of his work done…

You heard the noise of chirping birds outside, scratch that it was just Gilbird and he was pecking and nuzzling your cheek, “Hello bird.” Was all you said and then you turned to see his owner still snoring away on his bed. He looked awfully peaceful in a way that made you smile.

“That’s your awesome owner ya know?” You said while chuckling and Gilbird chirped.

“Hey Gilbird.” That’s the first time you addressed Gilbird by his name; after all his name was pretty ridiculous despite the obvious pun in his owner’s name.

“Do you know about the bird?”

Gilbird tilted his little head in confusion, your eyes nearly widened in surprise, “Well I’ll be damned, he can understand me.”

“So you don’t know about the bird? I know about the bird."

“Nein!” You jumped out of bed to see your roommate and although his eyes were still closed, judging by that outburst of his he was half-awake and wanted to go back to sleep.

“What you haven’t heard?”

“(Male name). ANYZHING… but zhat song… I can’t f**king stand zhat unawesome song…” He groaned tiredly, even you had to admit that song was annoying but it was fun.

“Okay, okay I was just joking. It’s annoying anyway. I think I watch too much TV.”

“Got nozhing better to do zhan zhat? Zhat’s a boring hobby.”

“It’s not really a hobby, just something I do when I’m bored and besides I watch more than those dumbass cartoons.”

“Like vhat?”

“Well for example did you know that when fruit bats mate it’s the female who then engages in oral sex?” You asked and received a somewhat shocked but also interested looking Gilbert.

“Und you saw zhat kind of action on zhe ‘Animal Planet’?” He asked raising an eyebrow and smiling, if anything this guy had a perverted mind and apparently he wouldn’t mind watching fruit bats give it to each other.

“Well yeah I’d rather watch fruit bats getting head than watch any of the new shit they’re putting on the television.”

“Ja, you’ve got a good point.”

What a conversation, telling him that once you saw a thing about bats and that they sometimes give each other blowjobs, like people do. Well it’s information and info is education.

“Besides it educational, don’t ya know?”

“Ja, I’d like to vatch bats get it on with zheir sveet sex if it means learning somezhing new.” He smirked and you couldn’t help but laugh aloud. Then you both turned once you heard the sound of the door opening.

“Are you still sleeping bruder, get up already don’t be lazy.” It was Ludwig, the ‘younger’ brother.

“Aw come on bruder, it’s only 7…” He whined and then lied on the bed to prove his point that he didn’t want to get up yet.

“Vhat about you (Male name)?”

“Nah, me and Gil were busy talking about bat sex, care to join us?”

“N-nein!” He blushed slightly, judging by how he acted and whenever the topic sex was brought up seemed to embarrass him. Hmm, he’s probably a pervert.

“Are you a pervert?” You asked your thought out-loud, and Ludwig blushed even harder in both embarrassment and annoyance, “NEIN!”

Gilbert on the other hand laughed out loud, “Is he a pervert?! (Male name) zhing is, Ludwig here-“ He was cut off once Ludwig covered his mouth with his hand and kept him an arm lock. So he is a pervert, meh no big deal you just wondered, he’d be fun to mess with.

“I’ll take that as a… yes?”

“Nein, (Male Name)…” He said gruffly and ignored the fact that Gilbert was practically suffocating and his face turned blue.

“Wow, I love watching brothers get along. Well I’m up and at em’ now I’m getting up for some brekkie.” You said and then got up, oblivious to the fact that Ludwig was staring at you. Nein, he can’t be… but he’s so… I could ask… vhat vould a girl be doing in an all-boys school? Und how did she even get in here anyway? He pondered these thoughts and then he heard his brother cry out from his grip, so he let him go. Gilbert took a few deep breaths, for a minute there he thought he was going to die, “You didn’t have to do zhat! So vhat if (Male Name) knows about your-“

“Don’t say it!!”

“Oh vait zhat’s right… he’s gay so don’t get too friendly with him.” Gilbert sniggered and smirked. “You vouldn’t vant him to get zhe hots for you, do you how un-awesome it vould be if zhat happened to me? Mein bruder and (Male Name)? My reputation vould plummet.”

That’s right, (Male Name) did say ‘he’ was gay, but for all Ludwig knew that could’ve been a lie to cover up ‘his’ identity that anyone else would be too gullible to believe. However it could also be true… (Male Name) looked pretty damned effeminate, a little too effeminate…(Male Name) had to have been a girl, despite how ‘he’ acted, then again… ‘he’ acted pretty rowdy and rambunctious…  “I can’t just ask… he or she vould take it zhe wrong way… vait a minute!! She’s a girl in an all-boys school! She’s been in zhe locker-rooms vith us!! She’s vatched us change!!” Ludwig suddenly realized and a large blush creeped onto his face, burning with the embarrassment of being seen shirtless and/or under-dressed in front of a girl…

~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~

Outside you did some morning jogs with the other guys, you learned from your mistakes and instead decided to do only 5 laps instead of 10. You kept your disguise on, hair tied back under jacket, baggy jacket and sweat-pants and you wore a sports bra while the rest of your cleavage was under wrap. Lap 5 done and done, you wiped the sweat off your forehead with your hand.

“Phew! Okay that’s enough for today…” You said and made your way to Feliks.

“Hell yeah you, like wouldn’t want to repeat what happened on your first day.”

“Ugh, tell me about it.”

“So what is up?”

“Nothing much, me and Gil ain’t fighting no more, he’s still an annoying douchebag but he could be worse. And besides he’s a goofball so he’s fun to mess with.”

“That’s great and, like me and Toris have totally become besties. I mean you’re MY first and best bestie but still.”

“Oh speak of the devil, Toris!” You called the Lithuanian from afar and he came by to the two of you.

“Hi guys.”


“Oh nothing much…”

“You know I saw you with that Russian guy, what was he doing?”

“Oh nothing!” He said nervously but you noticed how scared he looked.

“Ivan Braginski’s been on his ass for a while now, he like won’t leave him alone. Everyone else is afraid of him, but I’m not. Still he’s  like so wack, so I wouldn’t be around him (Your name).” Feliks explained, since Toris had been telling him about this guy, Ivan. How he liked to bully the younger, innocent kids and how Toris and his other Latvian friend Raivis got tormented by him on a daily basis, his other friend Eduard was more lucky but he was still terrified of him.

“No, that ain’t right. He can’t do that to you guys.” You shook your head in disapproval and saw said Russian who was picking on that same poor Latvian kid, Raivis right?

“N-no (Your name)! I don’t want you to get hurt! I-I mean he’s really not that bad but when he gets mad…” Toris hastily tried to explain, very scared and nervous for you.

“(Your name)! Don’t do it! He’s crazy!” Feliks grabbed your shoulder. “Feliks calm down, I’ll be fine and whatever happens, happens…”

He looked skeptical, and as much as he wanted to protest he knew that you could take care of yourself and it wouldn’t be fair to you if he forced you not to do something you were sure about, right or wrong.

“Okay… but if something happens I’m coming in for you.”

“Kay. Thanks brah.”

You said and took a long look at the guy, even when he was picking on that poor kid he was still smiling, he always wore that scarf for some reason, and another thing he was huge. Yet you didn’t take that into consideration.

“Hey yo!” You called and Ivan stopped pounding Raivis on the head and saw you, “Why don’t you go pick on someone your own size?” You asked rather boldly, and he smiled.

“Ah, like you da?” He asked, and then a purplish aura surrounded him, he was angry and annoyed.

“Whoops…” you said and as much as you wanted to back away, that would make it easier for him to intimidate you even more. “You’re that new gay kid, da?”

“Yes... I am...”

“Very well then, it won’t matter.” He said and then roughly shoved you to the ground. You winced in pain and seethed, this guy now standing above you, looking all too sinister and sadistic. You wanted to run but that’s what cowards do so you got up and stood your ground and turned your expression into a glare. “You’re pretty tough for a faggot.”

“Who you calling a faggot?”

“You silly.”

“Yeah, right just quit picking on that poor kid and my friend Toris, or else.

“Or else what?”

“Well it ain’t gonna pretty that’s for sure.”

You said and then you noticed that Ivan was staring at you oddly. “Speaking of pretty… you’re kind of pretty yourself (Male Name) right?”

You stuttered in shock and fear, damn! Why were you so bad at keeping secrets?! “Y-You know I may be a faggot but that doesn’t mean I like being hit on…”

“But it’s true. You remind me of my other friend, Yao.” He must’ve been talking about that Chinese girl, no guy! That’s right the long-haired Chinese guy who almost looked more feminine than you. And sometimes acted a little more feminine than you… he seemed a little suspicious almost…

“Look just leave my friends alone.”

He then glared at you, still smiling but the aura was dark, purple and almost evil. He grasped your shoulders tightly, you suppressed a yell of pain and groaned. “(Male Name)… it’s not polite to make threats…”

“Neither is pounding on someone shorter than you…” You managed to groan out and you saw the same Latvian kid who had been watching, you mouthed for him to run off but he just stood there.

“Well it seems I’ll have to teach you some respect.”

“N-No!” You almost yelled and coughed out and managed to push his hands off of you and you fell back onto the floor right on your ass. Your jacket came undone and your (length of hair) hair fell down, which gave away glimpses of your gender. You panted, partially from your pain from your shoulders and your downfall, but then you looked and saw Ivan… blushing?

“What’s the matter with you?”

“I…I am so sorry… if I had known (Male Name) was a girl, I wouldn’t have been so mean…” He said, that purple aura of his disappearing.

“G-girl?!” You asked pretending to be shocked, “W-what girl?” You looked around, even though you knew it was pointless.

Ivan chuckled, “Oh (Male Name) don’t play dumb with me, I can see that you’re a girl now, I thought you had a pretty face, and your lovely hair. Oh that explains why you fainted a few days ago, you were trying to hide weren’t you?” He asked, a little giddy for some reason.

“Yeah… congratulations…” You muttered, fantastic just what you needed, some bully who freaked people out on a day-to-day basis.

You sighed, “Listen up ruskie. The names (Your name) now you may be bigger than me but if you tell anyone about this I will kick your ass.” You tried to threaten but you could’ve assumed that this guy wouldn’t fear you no matter how cruel you would’ve tried to threaten him.

“(Your name)? That’s a pretty name, da?”

“Yeah, yeah.” This guy sure could flatter you, and he wasn’t even flirting with you.

“And you’re pretty feisty aren’t you?”


“Very well then I won’t say anything… on one condition…” He said with a playful smirk.
Oh God… “What do you want? I ain’t giving no sex, or money so forget about it.”

“Nyet, nyet. Not sex… that wouldn’t be so bad but… if (Your name) is my friend, I will keep her secret.”

You looked shocked, “That’s it? You want me to be your friend?”

“Da! All the ones I have don’t get to see me very often… and sometimes they run off…” He said looking a little melancholy. Oh great, having a friend like Feliks made you soften up and then you patted his shoulder. “Ok, but I’ll be your friend just to be your friend, I mean my secrets important but still…” You said with a smile and then he hugged you tightly. “Whoa… you’re… you’re a big fella…” You muffled through his chest, this felt like a literal bear hug.

“(Your name) is my friend, da?”

“Da…” You nodded, “But call me (Male Name) in private and if anyone asks, I’m gay, super gay.”

“Da, okay.” He nodded. Well this guy wasn’t so bad, sure he was crazy and you could see right through that, but he also acted like an overgrown child and he wasn’t very good at socializing either, meh you were adventurous so this wouldn’t be so bad. Oh no… the Latvian kid.

“Hey half-pint!” You called the short kid and you walked towards him, you were taller than him so he shrunk and trembled. “No, no don’t be afraid, but… how much of that did you see?”

“J-Just… all of it…” He stuttered, his trembling didn’t seem to cease.

“Okay well…” It felt a little weird to have to look down to a guy, since you mostly had to look up to guys because they were often, if not always taller. “I’m (Your name)”

“I-I’m Raivis…” He said and blushed once he looked at your effeminate face, “Thanks… for the save… but why did you help me?” He asked shyly and fidgeted with his hands. You couldn’t help but smile, “Because I’m your friend.” You chuckled and Raivis widened his eyes, the blush on his face deepening. “Y-You are..?”


Ivan made his way to you two, “Now little Raivis, (Your name) has a secret so you’d better keep it, da?” He asked with that threatening aura. “Y-Yes! I’ll keep your secret (Your name)! I swear!”

“Okay, okay that’s good you look trustworthy enough, that’s enough Ivan.  And by the way it’s not nice to pick on Raivis just because he’s smaller than you.”

“But… it’s so fun…!” He whined, and you couldn’t stop yourself from chuckling. “Okay okay, but you can’t do something that would physically hurt him, it’s one thing to tease your friends out of affection but it’s another thing to pick on them just for the hell of it. Friends don’t hurt each other.” You said, feeling a little bit like some goody-goody adult but Ivan just stared at you in what looked like wonder.

“Oh…” You looked a little shocked once you noticed the change in his demeanor, “W-whoa! Sorry man! I didn’t mean it like that, I just…! I…!” You stuttered, way to go (Your name).

“Nyet! Don’t get upset it’s just… no one’s ever really talked to me like that before…”

“Really? Well, you know what? Just be yourself, that’s all a person can really ask.”

“Be myself?”

“Yeah, just try not to get too out of hand okay?”

He suddenly smiled brightly and out of the blue he hugged you again, “Okay (Your name)! Okay!”

“That’s good, now I’ll see you guys in some of my classes.” You said and put your hair back under your jacket and fixed said jacket to looking back like an effeminate boy and waved to them. They waved back, Raivis still looked a little scared now that he was left with  Ivan, but he was sure that maybe things wouldn’t be as bad as they did before.

~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
You came back to Feliks and Toris, “(Your name)! Thank goodness you’re alive!” Feliks ran up to you and hugged you, and you laughed, “Of course I’m alive what did you think?!”

“Because that guy is like, so crazy-wacko!”

“Nah… well he is a little wacko I’ll give you that, but we worked something out…” You said, leaving out the fact that your secret had been given away for only the 5th or 6th time.

“So… he didn’t hurt you?” Toris asked nervously.

“No. He’s not that bad, he’s a loony but he’s a nice loony.”

Toris sighed and smiled, “I’m just glad everyone’s okay.” The three of you all shared smiles.

You were all still outside but you weren’t dying of heat like you were that one day. As much as you wanted to get your hair out of your jacket, you couldn’t. Then you saw that Chinese guy or girl, with his lovely flowing hair as he ran; it was in a ponytail but still. Okay, so you weren’t alone, but you needed some sort of scapegoat so no one else would start getting suspicious. “That guy has to be a girl, he’s more feminine than me, which is a little sad.” You kept your gaze on him, entirely focused and then he noticed you staring right at him. He looked away, but then looked backed and you were still staring at him, “It’s that one student (Male Name) why is he staring at me like that-aru?” He thought, feeling slightly uncomfortable because when he looked back you were still staring right at him, but like a predator to prey.

It was unfair how this one was able to get away with looking like a girl while you had to go to drastic measures to hide your gender.

You got up to run another lap because you had the energy and sweat to cool you off as you did so, and to follow ‘him’. His name was Yao, that’s what you picked up from Ivan, well that was a sufficiently good name to cover up for a female gender. Yao turned and saw you still staring at him while you both ran, “Why is he following me-aru? Oh… he’s gay isn’t he?” He thought, for a minute… could… could you be a homosexual rapist? Ok, you couldn’t see your own expression, but you looked not only creepy but you also had a face that practically said ‘your ass is mine.’ “Aiyah! Why me of all people?!” Yao thought as he sped up his pace, feeling slightly fearful of you, though you didn’t know this, it was bad enough that he had Ivan on his back already.

“Hey!” You yelled and sped your pace up and you were at a fair distance away from him.

“I like girls-aru!” He cried as he kept running.

“That’s too bad!” You yelled, that was a poor choice of words and then you closed in on him and grabbed his hair, “Such long pretty hair…” You teased but then you felt yourself being lifted and then tossed down right onto the grassy ground. He had just judo-flipped your ass, and hard at that. You groaned and couldn’t even move.

“(Male Name!)” He heard Feliks and Toris yell your name, and couldn’t see their worried expression.

“Oh…..” You groaned, okay that freaking hurt… you already got hurt a few times being here but this one took the cake. Groaning, you saw Yao looking both frightened and little guilty, “I’m so sorry. Self defense…”

“GET AWAY FROM ME!!” You yelled frustrated and somehow got some of your strength back, “Look girly boy, theres things you don’t know about me, and here’s one: I’ll fuck someone up if they dropped my ass on the ground like this.” You said and then groaned as you got up and bit your lip at the pain.

“Girly? Aiyah! I’m not a girl-aru! Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Yeah right, well nice try. Take the wig off.” You groaned again and somehow managed to stand.

“Wig?!” He yelled, sounding angry.

“Uh-huh.” You stood, though you were still hurting you were able to stand now, you were okay.

“How dare you?!” He asked but you took him by surprise and jumped him, just in time for everyone to come and see you ‘raping’ the guy.

“Rape!” You heard Yao yell as you kept pinning him and then pulled at his hair, “Come on now, you’re unconvincing as a guy!” You yelled and then saw everyone staring at you, some looking disapproved, some were laughing about it and some were a little scared. “Get him (Male Name)! Get him!” You heard Gilbert chant on, apparently he liked a good fight.

“Rape? I’m not raping you, I’m exposing you, now okay that wig’s on there pretty good… but how about…” You picked him and massaged his chest to look for any breasts… much to his embarrassment as he blushed madly and cried. The other guys were now shocked and appalled, definitely rape…

None… you looked at all the other guys and realized what a mistake you made… this was a guy… “Oh…” Was all you had to say… “I’m so sorry…”

“Get away from me!” Yao cried and pushed you away from him, embarrassed, degraded and almost crying.

“Sorry… thought you were a girl…”

“You didn’t have to do that-aru!” He yelled as he covered his chest, that you pretty much violated, sure he had a Korean cousin that did the same everyday but you were a stranger so it was different.

“Well…! You didn’t have to throw me like that!”

“I was protecting myself!”

The guys all looked at you, “He IS gay…”

“Ok, okay look man I really am sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come down to this. I wasn’t trying to rape you.”

“Are you sure about that-aru?!” He asked, now afraid of you as much as he was of Ivan.

“Yes! You’re not my type! I wouldn’t rape a guy, is that really any way to start a relationship?” You asked and chuckled to yourself, a girl raping a guy almost sounded funny but it wasn’t…


“Look sorry Yao, no hard feelings?” You took your hand out to help him up, it took a while for him to respond but then he reluctantly took your hand and shook it.

“Sorry.” You said again.

“Aiya… you know you look very girly yourself (Male Name).” Yao huffed and pouted,  all because you thought he looked like a girl in drag…

“Girly? What chu talkin ‘bout?”

“Well sorry you kind of do…”

“No I don’t.” You kept the lie up, not sure how you sounded, maybe like you were in denial. Yao kept a skeptical look but he decided not to bother with it.

“Kesesesese~! Zhat was hilarious (Male Name)!” Gilbert laughed and came towards you.

“You’re not nearly as awesome as me but you took girly over here to school!” He hit the back of your shoulder in a more playful way and then gave you a noogie. “Well thanks bro.”

“I’m not girly-aru!” Yao cried annoyed.

“Well look on the bright side dude, you and I feel the same pain because people think I look girly too.” You said and playfully punched Yao in the shoulder.

“Aiyah…” He pouted. “Ya know man, I didn’t get that far but you have a… you-know-what right?” You asked-whispered to Yao in his ear, and he blushed from both anger and embarrassment.

“What?! O-of course I do!” He said but then covered his mouth once he realized what he just said, “Okay, that’s all I wanted to know…” Yikes you thought, okay the ‘girl’ was a guy, and everyone knew that and hopefully no one else would question you like did Yao.
“Look I already told you, I like girls…” Yao said nervously and even backed away from you, “N-no no man I know, and I already told you that you’re not my type.”


“Ja, ja well not bad eh (Male Name)?” Gilbert asked and hit you in the back of your shoulder a little more forcefully this time to where you fell on the ground but you could tell it wasn’t out of malice that’s just the kind of guy Gilbert was; speaking of which he was snickering at you.

“Hohohoho~ Ha ha ha freaking ha.” You mock laughed and got up, not noticing how Yao was staring at you, “What’s with all that long hair-aru?” He thought, able to notice the hair you hid under your jacket; it was in a low ponytail like his own, but still. “He is gay…” He thought and then he mentally gasped and put his hands to his cheeks, in realization…

“Thanks Gil I really enjoy your asshole-ness it brightens my day!” You snarked and Gilbert just laughed. “I don’t vhy you asked vhether or not Yao over there has a dick but how about you?” He asked, to be honest he thought you looked rather girly as well so he had to make sure. You had a flabbergasted and ‘what the F’ expression, “What? Of course I do, and why do you keep asking me things like that, dude are you sure you're not a homo too?”

“Nein, me a homo? Not even close I've already told you! Just curious because you really look  like a fag. It's your face.”

“Thanks for the compliment, biatch. You’ve already told me that twice.” You said to a smirking Gilbert but then felt your shoulder being pulled and then you turned to see Yao, “(Male Name)… could I speak to you for a minute?”


“Now don’t you two girlies run off and elope!” Gilbert yelled while you two walked off to somewhere private while you only smirked and flipped him off.

“Sup?” You asked casually.

“(Male Name)… are you…?”

“A girl? Yes I am I saw this coming…” You said and rolled your eyes you might as well just tell anyone else who questioned you.

Yao widened his eyes looking quite shocked, “So… you are…” He said and couldn’t stop himself from blushing bright red and looked away so you wouldn’t see but… you could.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re a girl… and you touched me all around my upper body…” He barely managed to say, feeling very embarrassed right now.

“Hey you’re lucky I was actually thinking about touching your lower body…”

“What?!” He cried, now mortified.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” You laughed and wrapped your arm around his neck, “Aiyah… don’t touch me right now…” He muttered and looked away. “I’m sorry man, by the way my names (Your name) but keep that under lock, kay?”

“…all right just don’t ever do that again. Ever.” He sighed, his blush dying down.

“Coolness, and by the way I normally don’t ever tell guys this, but for a girly looking guy you totally kicked my ass.” You said and still smiled despite the fact that it annoyed you at first, of all the guys in this school Yao’s pretty much the only one who’s kicked your ass so far.

“Aiyah! I’m so, so sorry!” He hastily apologized and then gasped out loud in shock and shame, “I’ve hurt a woman, what have I done-aru?!” He thought, if anything the last thing he would ever do was hurt a girl.

“No, no it’s okay man, respect. Because I’ve already pissed off a lot of guys here and not one of them has kicked my ass like that before, because I don’t like to brag but I did it before them.” You said and nodded, those moments felt good.

“But… I hurt you terribly-aru…” He recalled how much you were moaning when you picked yourself off the ground from that judo-flip.

“Nah, I can take a hit and besides by the time I’m done with this school I will probably be official impermeable to pain.” You laughed and punched him in the shoulder, he looked bewildered by how you weren’t really affected by this but you were in a good mood.


You grinned and got up, “Good, now I’ll see you in some of my classes.” Was all you had to say to a still confused looking Yao, “What an interesting girl-aru.” He thought, you were a good person he now knew that but you were definitely the reckless type but at least you weren’t as bad as the others here.

~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~
You walked along the hallways, curious about something. They had no girls bathrooms here obviously but any empty restroom would be okay, even though you still felt extremely uncomfortable even attempting to step foot in there. And you made the mistake again…

You opened the door to see Gilbert… using the urinal.


“Oh it’s you.” He said turning to see you. You stuttered and averted your eyes, and couldn’t stop yourself from blushing, but Gilbert didn’t seem to understand why.

“Vhat’s vrong vith you?”

“N-Nothing… I’m sorry…” You hastily apologized and got out of there quick and put both your hands on your hot and reddened face while taking a few breaths.

Forget this you were driving and stopping somewhere else like a mini-mart.

It didn’t take you long to get back but you were immediately faced with Gilbert once you did get back, “(Male Name). Vhere vere you und vhy’d you leave like zhat all of zhe sudden?” He asked, a little more curious and raising an eyebrow.

Damn! This guy won’t quit! But lying out of your ass wouldn’t be the worst thing you’ve done since A: you were already doing it, B: you had a secret to keep and C: this guys an idiot.

“What? You’ve never been around a guy who can’t piss when someone’s watching?” You said, which was probably a lie and you earned a rather loud laugh from Gil, “Zhat’s it! Wow, you really suck (Male Name)! You really are a pansy!”

“Shut up!”

“Are you sure you’re as awesome as you say you are?” He asked and wiped a tear from his eye.

“Are YOU sure you’re as awesome as you say you are?!”

“Of course I am!”

“Of course I am!” You repeated.

“Stop zhat!”

“Stop that!” You mocked and smirked, mimicking him to piss him off.

“You’re mimicking me to piss me off aren’t you?”

“You’re mimicking me to piss me off aren’t you?” You repeated again.

“Quit it.”

“Quit it.”

“I mean it (Male Name)!”

“I mean it (Male Name)!”

“You’re a dumbass!”

“YOU’RE a dumbass!” You yelled this time, but this time Gilbert kept quiet, which was a big shock. For he feared you’d just repeat him again. “Okay sorry, I’m done.”

“You’re really annoying (Male Name).” He gave you a smug look.

“YOU’RE really annoying!” You exclaimed, not to repeat him again, because that’s what you really thought he was.

“You’re just jealous because I’m awesome-r than you.”

You mock-laughed, “Yeah, that’s why Mr. Awesome.”  

“I’m glad you agree.”

“I don’t.”

“Vhatever.” He said but then you continued to walk until you saw your room and then you sat on the bed, today’s classes weren’t that fun but everyone else’s antics made up for it. Yet you weren’t feeling that great today (if you know what I mean) and all you really wanted to do was to lie down and snark at Gilbert til you both got tired of each other and talked about something completely off topic.

And you did exactly the first part, got on your rather comfy bed and lied on the side and put your hand on your belly.

“(M-M-Male Name)….” Gilbert stuttered. Wait, stuttered?  

You got up from your somewhat comfy position to see him, “What’s up?” You asked and saw that Gilbert was red in the face. “V-Vhy… do you have… zhis…?” He asked and held up what looked like a menstrual pad, you widened your eyes and felt slight embarrassment.

Well this had been interesting so far, you talked about fruit bats, stood up to a bully, attacked poor Yao and now... this... yikes... what an awkward scenario... LOL i managed to get this one done! I should probably say that at 1 or 2 things may be foreshadowing something later on in the future... but i still can't believe i got this down! Yes! :3

Picture belongs to original artist
Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himayura

Chapter links:
Chapter 1:…
Chapter 2:…
Chapter 3:…
Chapter 4:…
Chapter 5: HERE!
Chapter 6:…
Chapter 7:…
Chapter 8:…
Chapter 9:…
Chapter 10:…
Chapter 10.5:…
Chapter 11:…
Chapter 12:…
Chapter 13:…
Chapter 14:…
Chapter 15:…
Chapter 16:…
Chapter 17:…
Chapter 18:…
Chapter 18.5:…
Chapter 19:…
Chapter 20:…
Chapter 21:…
Chapter 22: COMING SOON!!

Here's an Extra little bit starring the A.S.K!:
Add a Comment:
Kyurito Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Damn you Russia!!!!!!!! I hate him now... I don't care if he's mentally unstable he deserves to be kicked in the (place where the sun don't shine!)/(Soft spot!)
SilverBronze Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Me: Some dick threw it at me for a prank or some shit. He said I would need one since I acted like a girly fag *poker face*

. . .

. . .

I think that  cover up would work well enough xD
GarnetBoo Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Congratulations! Ivan, Raivis, and Yao have joined your party!
hetapolice Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

GeekGurl234 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2015
hetapolice Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
XXskyHD Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Oh my yes *whips tear from eye*
hetapolice Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist

(( OMG I love your icon! :iconnosebleedplz: :iconhyperplz: ))
XXskyHD Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
I love yours too ^w^
hetapolice Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I got recently dragged into Ace Attorney thanks to a certain co-owner.

XXskyHD Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
I need to do zat vith my friendz, I knov Aleesha like ze Phoenix Vright Trials (The fan-ficy crack ones) but she haszn't played the game :'( 

lol (Itz Prussia's Birthday zo I am typing in a German aczent, because hiz avesomenesz vorced me too)
hetapolice Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I just... I git hot by feels

shingekinokyojean Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer

I normally dont favourite every chapter of such a long series like this but all of these chapters are making me laugh so much they deserve it.

And my gosh i just felt up china, i can totally see him blushing and screaming, im sorry china but you're so cute aru~ :iconfangasmplz:

I was just imagining prussia standing real far away from the urinal cause of his "awesome five mters" ahhahaaha xD

The writing and plot is amazing, I'm sure I'll continue favouriting with each part!
adrianarosabell Featured By Owner May 13, 2014
V-Vhy… do you have… zhis…?” He asked and held up what looked like a menstrual pad

I am caught!! I think reader -chan is gong to die of embarrassment or kill gilbert XD
Nice story, this is fantastic, love it  ;) and poor yao everyone confuse him as a girl except me cause I like Asian boys but still he got a girly face '__'
Lousiey Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well reader-chan is fucked
HummingBird001 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
My cousin just asked what a menstrual pad is, somebody put it simply cause I ain't going to!!
itachanlover Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Shit... goddammit..... shit..
midnalovver Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
O////O oh shit, got me there....QUICK! make a lie fast!
luchihahatsune Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
oh lord...
oh Ivan!
i use them instead of band-aids!
America (Explains) [V5] 
Crocat Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Omygosh. I think I died XD  the animation made it even better :,> excuse me while I gasp for air.
luchihahatsune Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
13th-Program Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Student General Artist
ahahaha XD so this chapter made me laugh so hard XD
idclolz Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013
MagicMilkshake1 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I said it once and I'll say it again

109144 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
AW HELL.....................


Hetalia-Fangirl8 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013
Okay okay... I know this is stupid.... but I forgot what a  menstrual pad is.........
A-chan-The-Great Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Um... do you want me to go into detail with that? I don't mind but I wanna make sure you are. It's for when a lady's on her period. Srry.
Hetalia-Fangirl8 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013
That's what it was! I knew it was familiar XD
A-chan-The-Great Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yup... glory of bein' of a woman... NOT!!! :D :3
Hetalia-Fangirl8 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013
Hetalia-Fangirl8 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013
Not all Koreans are like him DX I'm Korean but I don't hug anyone. ANY,ONE.
A-chan-The-Great Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know... sorry did that offend you? Oh god I'm so sorry if that did I did NOT mean it, you're not mad at me are you? Please don't be mad at me!

Once again, I'm sorry...
Hetalia-Fangirl8 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013
Nonononononono.... I'm not mad and it didn't offend me. Also, I love the xreader!
A-chan-The-Great Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Okay... because the very last thing I want to do is offend anyone... and thanks! :3
Hetalia-Fangirl8 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013
No problem~
Pikachu9516 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2013  Student Writer
Latviaaaa!!!! x3  
Symmetry-Cat Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconfliptable: ALL THESE PEOPLE KNOW MY SECRET! DAMNIT! :iconfliptable:
idclolz Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013
deerfluff Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2013
kittykatrocks12 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The one dead giveaway has now been revealed
LilDaniDeath Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013
*takes the pad* U-Uh this is nthing it's like totally my mom's brah! DUH! ehehehe *shifty eyes*
Hetaliafreak1235 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah probly shoulda hid those reader chan
Hinatathebloom1 Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013
Loved the ending XD
RoisinDubh9542 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
At the end, all I could think of was 'She's the Man', with the tampon. It's hilarious... look it up.
A-chan-The-Great Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh. I like that movie heh-heh-heh...
HetaliaFanGirl013 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
oh 'ats embaressing! vhy vas 'e in my bag! uhoh im SOO dead!
YukiSuoh01 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
poor Yao
Yay I make friend with Ivan :iconsexyrussiaplz:
The last..menstrual pad....that embarrassing
(good story though)
zombiekilla21 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
i'm sorry but this whole time i'm just thinking about reader-chan going:icondothecreepplz: xD
HiddenTourturedHeart Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
yay~! ivans my friend~!

wait... did i just RAPE yao?!

hold up... im on my PERIO?! AWWWW SHIIIIIIIT!
I-write-fanfictions Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
*le reading this chapter*
In the middle: Holy Fucktards why am I raping Yao
Add a Comment:

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