The Best Damn Thing- Crossdresser! Reader X Prussia Chpt 8
I’m not sure if this one’s shorter than the others but I hope you guys enjoy this one, hahaha~!Okay my fair warning is that there is some suggestive stuff in this chapter but not enough to be considered a lemon-y sort of thing but still this is my warning to you right now. Sometimes I can’t believe the stuff I type down, so bold… well I hope you all ENJOY~!! :3
In the morning, you slept soundly on your soft pillow and slowly fluttered your eyes open; though like any other person you’d probably close them and sleep some more. Man, you were having a terrible dream: You got accepted into an all-boys school, then you had to dress like a boy and you ended up getting harassed by your douchebag of a roommate. And the worst part was you actually let him sleep with you in that same dream…
You turned to see Gilbert’s sleeping face and then took noticed of his strong arms wrapped around your waist as if he was going to try and touch your…
Holy crap! You thought and blushed as red as a tomato. What the hell was he trying to do, did he fondle you in your sleep, ugh! He’s going to be asleep for a VERY long time if he did.
You sighed, typical men. Though all you felt was groggy, as you always were in the morning you didn’t feel any different or like if something weird happened last night and then you noticed you still had your undergarments on, clean and everything. All you smelt was your B.O and nothing unusual, plus now you were wide awake and ready for another day.
Ok… he messed with your clothes and your undergarments while you were sleeping but he didn’t get that far, because having the person with in bed asleep is pretty much a giant cock-block right?
Though you didn’t know this little bit:
12: 40 am and Gilbert was still awake, but you were still sleeping. Gilbert only stared at the ceiling, bored as hell and he turned to see you; apparently asleep and looking peaceful. You had a cute face but at the same time, here you were…
In bed with him….
In your undergarments….
In the dark…
Late at night…
On top of that.
He wasn’t tired.
“Oh great…” Gil thought and muttered to himself.
“Dammit frau… you better not just leave me like zhis all vorked up..!” He thought and flushed as he felt the bottom of his pants tightening. Hey, you were a girl and you had no bra on and you were wearing cute (style) pajamas and without a doubt panties underneath.
He shook you softly hopefully to wake you up and convince you to do something… rated PG-13… screw that… rated R… hell maybe even rated M.
“Frau…” He whispered.
“Come on..! Vake up!” He hissed some more, but his shaking didn’t do anything. You were kind of a deep sleeper.
After a few more seconds of shaking you, he gave up. “F***…” He said and huffed, what a total cock-block.
Or was it?
“Kesesesese~…” He giggled softly and tried to contain it, sure he couldn’t get to the best part but maybe some touching wouldn’t be so bad…
He placed his hands and slid them up your (color) shirt. You gasped from your sleep, but still didn’t wake. Gilbert was startled but remained calm once he saw that you were still asleep.
Also his hands were still on your soft breasts… they felt great but then you turned on your side again. To Gilbert’s disappointment. But he could still wander around your hips and up and down your legs…
“Stop it…” You muttered in your sleep.
“Shit…!” He thought and took his hands back once he heard you; thinking you were at least half-awake. Man you’d beat the shit out of him.
“Stop it guys… I’m telling you…” You muttered again.
“I swear I’m a lesbian, so leave me alone... I go for chicks not dicks…”
Gilbert raised an eyebrow, what kind of dreams were you having? Wait lesbian? Maybe you were dreaming but he could live happy with a little lesbian action. But now you were on your side. He crossed his arms, he’d just have to wait it out til he gets displeased enough to go back to sleep.
You got out of your bed and slid out of Gilbert’s arms, putting on your regular clothes but still put on some pigtails so that way when Gilbert woke up he wouldn’t get suspicious. Sure your clothes were how you usually dressed when you weren’t in disguise but still, you had the look of a tomboy anyway.
Should you go for a jog? No, if you left Gil alone in your place, especially since he was in your room he’d probably mess with your stuff, like steal a pair of your panties or one of your bras. He may be disappointed when he sees the sports bras but you had a few cup bras too so…
It wasn’t going to happen. But you couldn’t show as (Male Name) just yet so you got a piece of paper and wrote ‘Went out for a jog’ love (Male Name)’ with a heart and everything. Had to keep the gay act up right?
“Okay… this is good. Once Gilbert gets up, later on I’ll pound him and then he’ll go back to school and then I’ll have to go back to school as a guy and then from here on out everything will be smooth sailing…” You thought optimistically for a while until you heard a yawn.
Gilbert sat up from your bed and stretched his arms out.
You chuckled, “Good morning sleeping beauty.”
“Very funny.” He said tiredly and rubbed his eyes.
“So… you just gonna get up and make your merry way out of here?” You asked, looking somewhat giddy given by the grin on your face.
“Ja, ja I’ll do zhat. Right now I’ve got to take a leak.” He said and got up to walk into the hallway.
“Okay just don’t leave-“ You couldn’t finish your sentence once you heard the door from downstairs opening.
“Shit!” You hissed and Gilbert perked up once he heard you curse.
“It’s my mama!” You exclaimed, you had forgotten all about when your mom said to you yesterday that she and Grandpa would be back home in the morning.
“(Your Name)?” You heard your mother call and then you heard your grandpa…
“And my grandpa!”
“So?” He said and then you grabbed him by the shoulders and put both your hands on his mouth to shut him up. This of course shocked him and he started to yell through your hands but it only muffled his voice, and he couldn’t get out of your grasp since you held him back with all your might.
“(Your Name) are you awake?” Your mom asked and you heard her coming up the stairs.
“Shit!” You thought frantically, still holding back the struggling albino. “If she sees him like this…!” He was only in his boxer shorts and only had a wife-beater on. How bad would that have looked. She said no boys and your grandpa would probably go to jail since he’d kill Gilbert once he saw him. Okay your mom and Grandpa were both going to go to jail after this because your mom would kill you too.
Step, step, step.
You wore a panicked expression and sweat ran down your back, in your pits and down your forehead.
Step, step, step.
Only 4 more steps…
“(Your Name)?” Your mom called and saw that you weren’t in the hallway, but then a note on one of the doors read ‘Went out for a jog love (Male Name)’. Then your mom sighed, okay (Your Name) always comes back safe and sound after a 10 minute job, just from here to all around the small neighborhood. Though she found it a bit strange that you decided to address yourself by your alias, maybe you were keeping up with your act. But still it was strange…
“Oh is (Your Name) out for a jog?” Grandpa asked (Your mom’s name).
“Yes, I’m sure she should be back very soon.”
“Okay good, I can’t wait to see my (Your Name’s) face. I miss her.”
Meanwhile you were actually inside a 6 foot by 6 foot closet with Gilbert. Thank goodness you were quick enough to do so, and somehow managing to keep Gilbert quiet too. You sighed a sigh of relief, “That was close…”
“Vhat zhe he-!” Gilbert almost yelled but you used your hand to cover his mouth again.
“Shush!” You hissed and Gilbert glared at you, “Look I know you don’t like my hand being on your mouth but my mom and Grandpa are here, if they catch us we are BOTH going to die okay. Mom will kill me because she told me no boys and Grandpa is going to kill you because he’s super protective like that. Got it?” You explained, and he nodded.
“Okay, okay… zhat’s zhe reason. For a minute zhere frau… I zhought you were going to tie me up or somezhing…” Gilbert said with a smirk, obviously thinking and implying something dirty.
Your cheeks heated up at that kind of thought, “What are you retarded?!” You nearly yelled but it was only a hiss.
“Okay I think they’re downstairs so now we can…” You said and then grabbed the door handle but it wouldn’t budge.
It was locked…
“Oh no, I locked it from the outside…” You thought uneasily, since you had no key or hairpin to jimmy the lock open.
“Vhat?” Gilbert asked a little nervously and for once looking a little uncomfortable.
“We’re locked in here…” You reluctantly turned to face him.
Gilbert swore something in German that you couldn’t understand and then face-palmed yourself for being an idiot, but you diverted your attention from your idiocy to notice Gilbert shifting where he was sitting.
“W-what’s the matter?” You asked, not liking the situation you two were stuck in now.
“I still have to take a piss…” He said and didn’t look at you, if you didn’t know any better you’d say that he was embarrassed.
You widened your eyes and couldn’t stop yourself from blushing and feeling very awkward right now. You scratched the back of your head and twiddled with a lock of your (Hair color) lock, “Well… you’re going to have to wait…”
“Of course I can wait! I’m a big boy I can handle it!” He said, shaking off the embarrassment and shot his usual proud and/or arrogant expression complete with a smirk.
“Good, cuz there’s no way outta here…” You thought and faced the other way to think of something.
“Umm… (Your Name)?” Gilbert called you and you turned to see him, getting out of your thinking mode.
“Okay feel free to say no to zhis but… can I simply piss in here?” He said and turned so his back was facing you and his hands were near his lower area…
“Hell no! Don’t you dare!” Once again you nearly yelled but you had to keep quiet, plus your face was burning red, this couldn’t get any more awkward.
“I vas joking.” He said and turned back to you, smirking once he saw your blushing face. But then you crossed your arms and huffed.
“L-look man… we’ll get out of here. I promise you I’ll find some way out because fortunately… I’ve been in this exact situation 5 times before.”
“Vhen? Vhen have you been in zhis situation before?” He asked you incredulously, not believing you.
“Okay I lied I’ve never been in this situation before. At least not with someone.” You said and then you had to think about that, trying to recall exactly how some situations like that went.
“Is your gramps really going to kill me?”
“YES. He’s got a shotgun, he’s not shy about using it either, and secondly my mom. She’ll beat my ass.” You said, slight fear showing on your expression. What if they found you in here, the closet? Standing together in the hallway while Gil was under-dressed was bad enough, but this was almost worse. (Your Nickname) didn’t think that through…
“ Vell vith all due respect (Your Name) nothing can kill zhe Awesome-me.” You stared at his grin and rolled your eyes, he’s brave you’ll give him that.
“ Okay but I have a question, two actually: One do you like me?” You asked bluntly, and didn’t understand that as soon as you asked that Gil looked as if he was blushing.
“Like? Um… vell yeah. Yeah I do.”
“Okay then so you don’t want me to die?”
“Nein! I mean you’re a bit annoying, but not nearly as annoying as your bruder, but vhy vould you ask somezhing like zhat?”
“Because my mom’s going to kill me if she found us like this.”
Gilbert put his hand on your shoulder, to your confusion and slight embarrassment. “Nein, don’t vorry frau, if your mutti or Ohpa finds us in here I’ll explain to zhem everything…” He said, raising one eyebrow and an amused smile.
“ Are you afraid of dying?” You asked again, just as blunt from before.
“ Vhat kind of question is zhat?! I-I mean nein, cuz I’m too awesome to die.” He puffed up again as he did whenever he was bragging but you only stared at him with a blank expression.
“Because if you did explain them the whole story, yeah my grandpa’s going to kill you.”
Since you two were locked in the closet together, anyone else who might have caught you would've gotten the wrong idea. Also everyone knows what a boy and girl do together in the closet...
“But ve didn’t even do anyzhing! We didn’t even get to do zhe nasty~!” He said with a suggestive look and then you punched him in the stomach with redness forming on your cheeks.
“Dumbass!” You hissed and then you noticed the kind of face Gilbert was making, flushed with sweat.
“Wrong move…” He said and then crossed his legs with one hand on his crotch; you blushed harder and then you cursed yourself in your head, maybe you should’ve punched him the shoulder instead…
“Come on man, not in here.” You said and kept staring to Gilbert’s annoyance.
“Vell don’t just stare at me like zhat!” He exclaimed, blushing a rosy pink.
“S-Sorry…” You said and diverted your eyes away from him, the irony. Though for Gil it was probably more like cruel irony.
“Okay. Okay… I’m fine now.” He said and managed to stand up straight though you could still see him shaking. Great, being around a pervert has made you a pervert, if not worse than him, staring at a guy in nothing but his underwear.
You shook your head and took off the over-sized guy’s parka you were wearing and handed it to him, “Here, please put it on…”
Gilbert stared at your gesture for a bit, he was confused but he could see your embarrassed face and that you weren’t looking at him. The irony, he recalled having to do something like this for his friend Elizabeta and now here he was with you, and you were the one giving him your clothes
“Danke. But vhat’s the matter (Your Name) is it getting too hot for you in here? Or is it just mein awesome body?”
“That’s the problem moron, you’re under-dressed and if we get caught the least you could be is with something decent on.” You said and crossed your arms with a sneer.
“So you admit zhat you do find me attractive?” He asked and you could’ve sworn you saw him wink at you.
“I never said you were attractive, I just said that I’m not comfortable with being locked in a closet with a man at least 3 years older than me in his underwear!” You hissed but kept your voice low and still didn’t look at him.
“Not comfortable? I’m zhe one who’s uncomfortable right now.” He said and crossed one leg around the other but immediately took it back once you faced him.
“And whose fault is that?” You asked raising an eyebrow and your expression blank and displeased.
“No, if you hadn’t sent that picture of your schlong to that guy, you wouldn’t be here and ergo you wouldn’t stuck in here with me.” You said rather bluntly and sounding a little logical.
“Vhatever… hey vait a minute vhere’s (Male Name)? He could get us out of here.” Gilbert said, remembering (Male Name). If he let him stay he’ll definitely let them out, won’t he? That bastard better let them out, he’s got something urgent to take care of.
“Out for a jog.” You quickly said to avoid any suspicion.
“Dammit! Vhy is he out jogging?!” Gil asked but still kept his voice as quiet as he could; (Male Name) fainted the first day of college, why was he jogging?! Especially since he’s always wearing those large jackets, parkas, hoodies and vests every damned day even when it's hot, kind of like the one he was wearing, that you gave him…
That’s odd. But that doesn’t matter right now!
“What? A guy can’t jog in the morning? A lot of people do that.”
“Vell I have to piss!”
“Vhat do you zhink?! Zhis is early morning stuff!” He said and squeezed his legs tighter together, that you noticed.
“Oh…” You said, you did that first thing in the morning too…
“Calm down now man, just hold on a little bit…”
“I can’t do anyzhing else…” He thought and diverted his eyes away from you, how un-awesome would that be if the Awesome-Gilbert pissed his pants in front of girl? Especially since she was related to his even more un-awesome roommate, he would make fun of him until the end of college… Wait why did he care about what (Male Name) thought?! He wasn’t cool at all! No matter how much he bragged about himself and dared to question Gil’s own awesomeness.
“I-I’m going now…” You heard him say shamefully and turned with a shock expression and saw him smirking.
“Just kidding!” He grinned and you sneered but you were relieved, you would’ve had to clean that up. All of that would’ve been yours to clean…
“You’re blushing frau…” He smirked and playfully touched your cheeks that you didn’t notice were red.
“N-No I’m not!” You snarled and felt the hotness on your face burn and pushed Gil’s hands of your cheek that he touched.
“Oh and by zhe way, vhen you were eating yesterday after you touched mein crotch… did you remember to wash your hands?” He asked while sneering and put his hand to his mouth to avoid laughing too loud.
You widened your eyes and your face turned from shock to disgusted, and then you stared at the hand that you used to grab him and your whole body turned white, you twitched one eye in response.
“…” Was all you could feel but then you saw how Gilbert was snickering at you, you were annoyed very annoyed and then you opened your mouth.
“MO-!” You yelled but your mouth was covered by Gilbert’s hand.
“Hm?” From downstairs your mother perked up, thinking she heard something, like a voice. But she must’ve been hearing things.
“Hey! Vhat are you crazy?! I zhought you said you didn’t vant to die!” He hissed and kept his hand on your mouth.
“ Fine..!” You said, thinking about it. You’ll kick his ass later…
“Sheesh… you nearly scared the piss out of me…” He said a little sheepishly and went back to being uncomfortable.
You huffed and crossed your arms and once again stared at the opposite direction so your back was facing him.
Meanwhile downstairs your mother perked up again, this time she heard something a little different. “Hm, it must be the birds outside.” She thought but the same chirping she heard before got louder, to her befuddlement. Curious your mother stepped out of the kitchen and then she noticed a little yellow chick sitting fluttering to the sofa in the living room, looking somewhat confused.
To Gilbird he felt somewhat alone, you and Gilbert were nowhere to be seen. He woke up and neither of you were there but then he turned to see your mother and chirped happily, you looked like your mother.
“Oh my goodness. What’s a cute little bird like you doing in here?” You mother asked the little bird, though she didn’t expect an answer you’d get from a person.
Gilbird chirped and then hopped onto your mother’s fingers. “Did (Your Name) buy a pet?”
She said and Gilbird tilted his head in confusion, he knew (Your Name) but he wasn’t your pet.
“Oh shit…” You said once you heard some faint chirping.
“Gilbird?” Gilbert asked once he heard the same chirping.
“Shit… my mom must’ve found him…”
“Hey! Zhat’s mein-!” You covered his mouth again.
“Shut it, she won’t hurt him… and besides your bird’s smart right? He’ll find you…” You said a little awkwardly, you weren’t very good at reassuring people.
“Maybe Gilbird could get us out of here!”
“How?! How is your bird going to get us out of here?!” You hissed at his ridiculous suggestion.
“Vell it’s better zhan vhat your idea!”
“How do you know I haven’t thought of anything?”
“I don’t know what you’re zhinking!”
Downstairs your mom was happily petting Gilbird who in return nuzzled her cheek, “ Hey Grandpa look, I think (Your Name) bought a pet. Isn’t he cute?” She asked Grandpa who was looking around for anything that seemed odd or out of place but then he perked up to see the little chick.
“Oh, he is pretty cute. I didn’t think (Your Name) was an animal-lover.” He thought; okay you did like some animals, there were ones you could handle and some you wouldn’t trust yourself with.
“But… for some reason this place looks a little too neat…” He thought and scratched the bottom of his cheek, as if there was a beard there.
Grandpa narrowed his eyes around the place and then noticed something…
A faint short piece of hair…
It was light… a very light blond that almost looked white…
No. It was definitely white...
And it was short…
Since when did you have short whitish hair? That is unless it was a short lock of Felik’s fair blond hair, he’s a good boy. Maybe that was it.
“Come on (Your Name) zhink of somezhing…” Gilbert said impatiently while you kept on thinking.
“I von’t be able to vait much longer…” He said somewhat quietly but you caught what he said, which only convinced you to think faster.
“I’m thinking I’m thinking!” You said and even slapped the side of your head, almost expecting an idea to just pop into your head complete with a light bulb.
“If only I had my key…” You said aloud but then cue imaginary light bulb floating at the top of your head; you turned to face Gilbert who looked like he was holding himself but then he took his hands back once he noticed you looking at him, an almost dark red shade of blush on his face and he looked down almost ashamed.
“Gilbert I have the key.”
You giggled sheepishly and then pulled said key from your neck that you wore in a necklace under your shirt, apparently you had forgotten that you wore your house key around your neck.
“Wow it’s so amazing, hurry up and get us out of here!” He exclaimed and shamelessly put his hand around his crotch this time once you opened the door and made a quick sprint your nearest bathroom.
“Okay just hurry up and pee. And don’t leave the seat up!” You hissed once he ran past you.
“Okay, okay…” You thought and found another jacket to wear and then you opened your window in your room and carefully jumped out and then walked into the house, pretending to come back from a long jog.
“Hey mom, hey grandpa.” You greeted with a waving hand and your mother rushed over to hug you, Grandpa not too far behind.
“(Your Name)! I missed you so much!” She said with her arms wrapped around you, and you returned the hug.
“Me too I haven’t seen you guys in a week, busy-busy at school…” You said breezily as if you had nothing to hide.
“ (Your Name)! How’s my favorite girl been?” Grandpa asked hugging you after your mom was done.
“Great, school’s been good. No one suspects a thing.” You lied, being very subtle right now.
“That’s good, just keep that up a bit longer til you graduate. You’ll be fine, I promise.” Your grandpa said with a warm smile, he didn’t think anything bad would happen to you. And IF something did he’d fix it up and more importantly IF someone tried to mess with you, he’d kill them.
“Got it gramps.”
“Hey (Your Name) is this your new pet?” Your mom asked holding Gilbird in her fingers and then you put your fingers out for Gilbert to fly over to you.
“No, I’m just watching him… for a friend.” You said, a little less subtle but it was enough to sound believable.
“Oh he’s so cute, what’s his name?”
You stopped for a minute, should you really say what the bird’s name was? It was lame… well you thought the idea of it was lame but at the same time… kind of cute… dorky but cute…
“Gilbird. His name is Gilbird.” You said and nodded. The Prussian upstairs would’ve been proud.
“Gilbird? That’s a…” Your mother said a little unsure.
“I know isn’t that an awesome name? I should know because his owner is so awesome…” You said, playfully rolling your eyes.
“It’s cute. Are you already going to school?”
“Yes. I just need to take Gilbird and get a few things from upstairs and I’ll be on my way.”
Your mother nodded and then you hastily went upstairs to your room. “Is zhe coast clear?” You heard Gilbert whisper and then saw him hiding behind your bed.
“Yes, get your clothes take your bird and go on to school. (Male Name)’s waiting for you Mr. Awesome.” You smirked and put your hands on your hips.
“Zhat little brat, at school vithout me… I’ll get him!” Gilbert said and while he changed and you kept your back turned to give him some privacy. But then you smirked again once he was fully clothed.
He was at the window ready to climb out but then he looked at you one last time, "Oh and frau... thanks for letting me sleep vith you..." He flashed a perverted grin at you and sniggered.
“Don’t blink.” You said and then punched him the face before he climbed out of your house from the window in your room to leave, muttering a few things in German. When he turned to walk you saw the black-eye that you gave him.
You still didn’t know who that Elizabeta girl he was talking about before, but you did her a favor.
You laughed to yourself and then began to put on your disguise, you said you’d kick his ass eventually. And you did. Now all you had to do was go back to college, another day in the life of (Male Name) (Surname).